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October 01, 2011

Please make it so.. [wiserbud]

Many thanks to Ace for giving me the opportunity to entertain you drooling mouth-breathers this week as a guest blogger while he takes a well deserved break from destroying political careers and double-posting other cob-logger's items.

I have a theory regarding how to tell when the end of a popular music artist's career is at hand. Some have already heard my theory and find it somewhat solid. Other, less sophisticated, folks (*cough ranger fan dave-in-texas *cough red sox fan andy *cough) have taken great pleasure in attempting to find fault in my theory. But despite their best efforts, my theory remains as solid today as the day I first posited it at The Innocent Bystanders over a year ago. Yes, the science is settled.

Basically, my theory (ignoring the numerous amount of covers that all artists did in the 50s and 60s. And hell, without covers, Joe Cocker and Linda Ronstadt wouldn't have had careers) is this:

If you record and release a cover version of a previously popular song as a single, you have reached the end of your ride at the top and will most likely never have another hit again.

I base this theory, in part, on artists like these, who were, at one time, huge, but today, not so much.

Counting Crows - Big Yellow Taxi
Sheryl Crow - First Cut is the Deepest
Guns & Roses - Knocking on Heaven's Door
Metallica - Turn the Page
Smashmouth (doubly cursed) - I'm a Believer and Why Can't We Be Friends
Phil Collins - Took a couple of covers to take him down as well: True Colors and A Groovy Kind of Love {{{{{{{shudder}}}}}}}

Hell, Phil wasn't even satisfied with having his career killed off by just a couple of covers, so he decided to pull it's lifeless, decaying carcass from it's coffin and stomp it into oblivion with his last release, which was nothing but horrible, horrible covers of great old Motown songs. I guess he just wanted to be really, really sure his career was over.

So, with that theory in mind, I am extremely hopeful that we will never have to hear from this annoying little twit ever again.

You can see much more stupidity like this at The Hostages. You've been warned.

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posted by Guest Blogger at 06:00 PM

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