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June 22, 2011

Overnight Open Thread - Hump Day Edition

Dolphins: Nature's Gangbangers

Long-time ONT readers know that the dolphins are into rapin'. A lot. But really that's only if they like you.

And if they don't like you, well then you get a little of the cetacean ultra-violence:

Seemingly random acts of violence by bottlenose dolphins on porpoises have been reported in the Pacific Ocean off California. And recent marine mammal research confirms what could have been guessed: the attackers are young, sexually frustrated young males.

"Porpoises, come out and play-yay!"

In one particularly violent attack, three dolphins corralled their victim before seven others joined them to ram the porpoise to death. Cotter found most shocking the fact that two dolphins remained behind to play with the carcass before pushing it towards his boat. "It was almost like they said: 'We're done playing with it, here you go'."

So next time you get dolphin-raped and are feeling down, just remind yourself that it could have been a lot worse - death by dolphin and/or death by dolphin rape-rape.

Maybe if we set up a program for Phin outreach and re-education we can stem the tide of aquatic Hannibal Lectors before they reach our schools and Kwik-E-Marts, and redirect them into more fulfilling careers such as directing films or perhaps even leading international monetary funds.


OMFG: Obama's Failed Stimulus Package Doubled US Debt
Okay I knew stimulus cost a LOT of money, but holy crap I didn't realize it was this bad and this dramatic.

The 2011 Long-Term Budget Outlook, released Wednesday morning, reports that the “the combination of automatic budgetary responses” and Obama’s stimulus “had a profound impact on the federal budget.” According to CBO projections, before Obama’s stimulus became law, federal debt equaled 36 percent of GDP and was projected to decline slightly over the next few years. Instead, thanks in large part to the stimulus, debt reached 62 percent of GDP by 2010.
So in just two years we spent 35%(!) of the national GDP on a stimulus that doubled our national debt. And we got jack shit for it. How can you blow that much money and have nothing to show for it? And be shameless enough to run for reelection?

How To Become An Author in Just 5 Incredibly Difficult Steps
If you're easily discouraged and don't have a throbbing unslaked desire to see your words in print, well you might just be better off just working at Walmart and playing Lotto.

People usually ask me: "How did you get your book published?" Everybody wants to know how the process works, because they think that if they can just get the steps for this secret dance memorized, it's all plaid jackets and grad-student-blowjobs from that point forward. There are a lot of questions and answers for new authors out there on the Internet, but they always seem to dance around the subject in the name of preserving some sort of artistic mystique. As is the case with all nice things, I would like to ruin that tradition. I'll talk to you about the publishing process honestly and unflinchingly, even when it makes the whole thing (and by extension, me) look kind of shitty.
Okay now that any desire to write has been beaten out of your soul here are some practical tips on how to write a book from successful authors. Good luck.

The Best Flying Gun Ever
The A10 has always been one of my favorite planes. It's not sexy but it was excellently engineered to do one thing, do it well and keep doing it no matter what. Which makes it the honey badger of attack aircraft. (thanks to whoever sent me the link)


What Was The Iceman's Last Meal?
Apparently grains, deer, and a knuckle sandwich:

When they took a sample of the stomach contents and sequenced the DNA of the animal fibers they found, they discovered that Ötzi, just 30 to 120 minutes before his death, had dined on the meat of an Alpine ibex, an animal that frequents high elevations and whose body parts were once thought to possess medicinal qualities.

...But the Swiss team created new three-dimensional images of the ancient traveler's dentition. These showed that the Iceman suffered a blunt force trauma to two teeth—possibly a blow to the mouth—at least several days before his death and was plagued by both periodontal disease and cavities.


How To Change a Tire
Even if you're a member of AAA this is one of those skills that you really should have since you never know when it'll just be you and tools in your car and a spare tire on a dark lonely road. Of course Step 0 is actually knowing where the spare is located. And note that this question regularly appears on ManCard spot checks.

Kitteh Comes To a Baseball Game
And does not have a good time.

So Would a Dingo Really Eat Your Baby?
Yes. Yes they would.

While Australians have known for years that dingoes can savagely attack calves and sheep, the Chamberlains’ story about a dingo stealing their baby seemed a bit farfetched in 1980. Since then, though, there have been tragic examples of dingo attacks. Most notably, in 2001, two dingoes mauled and killed nine-year-old Clinton Gage on Fraser Island off the coast of Queensland. In 1998 a dingo dragged 13-month-old Casey Rowles out of her family’s tent, but her father moved quickly enough to rescue her from the dog.

The End of Gray Hair?
Beautiful colorful locks may be just one protein away.

Scientists believe they have cracked the code to restore hair to its original color. They have found a protein called wnt that is responsible for producing color in hair and also stimulates hair growth and produces new hair follicles. The lack of wnt activation in melanocyte stem cells leads to de-pigmented or grey hair. So far experiments have been performed on mice but it may be just a matter of time before hair products that raise wnt levels in humans appear on the market. This will be good news for those who are tired of frequent root touchups.
Which is good news for the ladies since almost a third of women under 30 are already going gray.

Tonight's post brought to you by 1980:


Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. Please e-mail overnight open thread tips to maetenloch at gmail. Otherwise send tips to Ace.

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posted by Maetenloch at 09:57 PM

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