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November 19, 2010

Overnight Open Thread

You can pray for a quick death. Which you ain't gonna get.

Les, Mary and Listerine:

In which we’re treated to some fine guitar work interspersed with a lesson on oral hygiene. Because there's that whole "not so fresh in the morning" thing going on.

There's a contest down there below the fold. A very very stupid contest.

Fake Doctor Performed ‘Breast Exams’ at Bars:

I think we’ve all used that line before…at least the “Outies” among us have, but there’s a twist to the story. See if you can spot it.

” BOISE, Idaho (AP) - Police arrested a woman in Idaho's capital city after they say she impersonated a plastic surgeon and conducted breast exams on at least two women in local bars.

Kristina B. Ross was arrested Tuesday and jailed on accusations of unlicensed practice of medicine.”

Drunken Santeh:

Because rdbrewer wants to get you into the holiday spirit. Mild content warning for buttock display and also ruining your collective childhoods. Or validating them. Seek help either way.

And Before I forget:

The other day I commisioned SluCorp Designs Ltd. to do an ONT logo. For the moment it's not copyrighted so is free and open sourced for all to abuse. That probably won't last too long though since the AceCorp legal dept. has word that Curtis' mom has designs on trademarking it for her own use.

Real-Life Superhero Movement:

I’m almost 100% certain I’ve seen or heard about this before and you probably have as well. But why should we let that stop me from rehashing it? Weekend ONT motto: "Come for the stale content, stay for the drunken comments." Kinda’ rhymes even…

Of course, The Man’s always trying to keep these doers-of-something down. From Alex Silverman, KIRO Radio:

They go by names like Phoenix, Green Reaper, and Catastrophe, and they're patrolling the streets of Seattle at night, taking justice into their own hands. As Seattlepi.com reported Friday, they call themselves the Rain City Superhero Movement, and while they may have noble intentions, they're nothing but a headache for Seattle Police. "They seem to be nice enough," Seattle Police Detective Mark Jamieson told KIRO-FM. "But we would have some reservations about going out in the middle of the night wearing a mask," Jamieson said. Police have circulated an internal memo informing officers of the existence of at least nine vigilante crime fighters, apparently part of a national movement.

Jamieson said they've gotten calls from concerned citizens who think the caped crusaders are criminals themselves. "If people want to be crime fighters, the best thing people can do is call 911 if they see a crime," Jamieson said. The 'superheroes' claim they all have military or mixed martial arts backgrounds.

Calls to the group's "Fortress of Suckitude" HQ requesting comment on and/or reply to the article weren't returned before the ONT went to press tonight.

So in addition to “Project Holsters of Cock” you can haz new project tonight: Proclaim in the thread your ONT superhero name and powers. Best entry will be awarded an Acemobile to help you perform your heroic yet moronic misdeeds. Bonus points if you somehow manage to combine the two projects.

Ed. Note: Mighty Mouse was the suckiest daily morning cartoon show I had to watch while choking down my Count Chocula and waiting to be dragged off to yet another day at the grade school gulag. Second suckiest was Heckle and Jeckle. Why the fuck couldn't they have just kept re-running episodes of Mr. MaGoo!!! Just askin' is all.

Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom: Most Dangerous Moments:

Yes, there are kittehs. Large, angry kittehs. Lots of other large, angry things as well. And Marlin Perkins actually gets out into the field on some of the clips, rather than using Jim as the sole piece of bait.

Tonight's Closing Act:

Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. Please e-mail overnight open thread tips to xgenghisx@gmail.com. Otherwise send tips to Ace.

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posted by Genghis at 09:07 PM

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