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November 13, 2010

Overnight Open Thread

Nothing good can come of this…at least if I can help it. First up, tonight's sermon:

More down below....

Tractor Deal Gone Wrong: Man Forced to Eat his Own Beard:

Last May, somewhere in Kentucky, things went horribly wrong in a dispute over a lawn tractor sale. According to LEX18 (which appears to be some sort of teevee station):

”He claims his beard was cut off and stuffed in his mouth and that he was ordered to eat it last May. And that's only the beginning of what one Lawrenceburg man says he and his brother endured, all because of a fight over a lawn mower.”

It’s a mess of a story, but I’m still trying to wrap my head around this statement from the beard-eating victim:

"Troy offered to buy it from me for two hundred and fifty dollars. I paid twenty bucks for it. He thought I was trying to cheat him," Westmoreland said. "One thing led to another, and before I knew it, there were knives and guns and everything just went haywire."

Ummm…Mr. Westmoreland? If you bought it for $20 and were trying to sell it off for $250, then I suspect your assailant may have had a point. Or this could all be a big typo on on LEX 18’s part. Of course, alcohol was in no way involved in this story. Except as it concerns some of the parties involved along with myself while writing this post. All’s well that ends well though:

"I believe in the law. I believe that justice has been served, and it will be after Tuesday," Westmoreland said. Sentencing for James Hill and Troy Holt will be next Tuesday morning in Lawrenceburg Circuit Court. Both Hill and Holt have pleaded guilty, and are expected to be fined and sentenced to supervision diversion.

Sounds to me like beard was served, along with fava beans and a nice Chianti.

(h/t Maet)

Anatomy of an Abrams Tank:

Part One. Several more parts follow and there’s lot’s of links on the ‘Tube page below for other things like “Anatomy of a Stryker,” “Anatomy of a Carrier,” etc.

You Park Like an Asshole:

Not you specifically, though it wouldn’t surprise me. The site’s been around for awhile and it’s pretty much self-explanatory. To elaborate:

Sick of a car taking up two spaces on the street? How about a car too close to yours? What about the car at the mall parked diagonally? Now you can do something about it. Simply download a notice and place it on the car's windshield. The owner of the vehicle will be informed of their asshole status as well as the proper tips to improve their poor parking techniques. It's time to put an end to asshole parking, or at least to make fun of it.

Seems like a good-natured approach but somewhat complicated. However, if you don’t have one of the forms or a pen handy with which to fill it out, you can always fall back on the tried-and-true method of getting your point across in these situations. Available here.

Works well on clear-coat, tires and irate asshole car owners.

PETA, Determined to Stay Irrelevant, Blasts the G20 Over…Goldfish Treatment:

PETA's executive vice president, Tracy Reiman is very concerned:

Animal rights activists have criticised South Korea for placing goldfish in harm's way as part of elaborate security measures for the G20 summit. South Korean authorities say that in addition to deploying thousands of armed police, they will use six goldfish which will be placed in the restrooms' water supply to ensure purity. But the US-based People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) says goldfish suffer pain in much the same way as dogs and cats.

Unconfirmed as yet, but speculation is that over the next few days PETA may issue statements condemning the wearing of raccoon coats, flagpole-sitting, the phrase "23 skidoo," bathtub gin and flappers, all of which is alleged to contribute to this sickening culture of goldfish-swallowing.Or something involving goldfish.

Innocent, yet freaky times indeed.

Awww...Cute Koalas Frolicking:

Frolicking TO THE DEATH that is.

And now a closing word from Euell:

Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. Please e-mail overnight open thread tips to xgenghisx@gmail.com. Otherwise send tips to Ace.

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