Pro-Kidnapping? Pro-Coakley!

The Best. Candidate. Evah keeps getting bettah and bettah.

See? I spelled "better" as "bettah" because that's how they say it in Massachusett[e]s. As Harry Reid might say, there is a distinct New England dialect in play, and I'm trying to capture it to make my writing more vivid and lifelike. I want my writing to pop like Curt Schilling's fastball did back when he, Reggie Jackson and Billy Martin were the three legs of the Bronx Zoo stool.

But I digress. My real point is this: I can only name one "news personality" that isn't on Fox News. That personality? Nancy Grace.

And what does Nancy Grace broadcast around the clock? Stories about missing kids and parental kidnappings.

Now I don't watch her show, but I do occasionally date women who do. As a result, I get the feeling that Grace's broadcast appeals to a certain demographic group that is clamoring for a nighttime show like "Oprah After Dark". Based on my limited demograhic research, I'm pretty sure that most of the women who watch these shows aren't real fond of kidnappers.

But you know who appears to be? Attorney General Martha Coakley!

Back in 1999, Coakley was district attorney for Middlesex County near Boston. She approved a plea deal that allowed Palm Beach socialite Stephen Fagan to avoid prison after kidnapping his daughters in a 1979 custody fight and hiding them from their mother until 1998.

Fagan, who reinvented himself in Palm Beach as Dr. William Martin, said he took the girls from Massachusetts to Florida to protect them from an alcoholic mother who was endangering their lives — a claim the mother disputed. The girls were raised believing their mother had been killed in a car crash.

Fagan pleaded guilty in a Massachusetts court in 1999 and paid a $100,000 fine, served five years probation and performed 2,000 hours community service at the VA Medical Center in Riviera Beach.

What, oh what, would Nancy Grace say about this? I bet it wouldn't be very nice. She seems like a kinda tough lady. I bet she wouldn't have let some guy off the hook for kidnapping just because he was a well-connected "socialite", would she?

'Cause like I say, I don't watch Grace's show, so I don't know what she would do. I do know that Martha Coakley would though.

And that's as obvious as red blood on a white sock.

posted by Jack M. at 01:49 PM

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