Saturday Haiku Thingy | Main | Saturday NFL playoff thread [someone]
January 16, 2010

Pro-Kidnapping? Pro-Coakley!

The Best. Candidate. Evah keeps getting bettah and bettah.

See? I spelled "better" as "bettah" because that's how they say it in Massachusett[e]s. As Harry Reid might say, there is a distinct New England dialect in play, and I'm trying to capture it to make my writing more vivid and lifelike. I want my writing to pop like Curt Schilling's fastball did back when he, Reggie Jackson and Billy Martin were the three legs of the Bronx Zoo stool.

But I digress. My real point is this: I can only name one "news personality" that isn't on Fox News. That personality? Nancy Grace.

And what does Nancy Grace broadcast around the clock? Stories about missing kids and parental kidnappings.

Now I don't watch her show, but I do occasionally date women who do. As a result, I get the feeling that Grace's broadcast appeals to a certain demographic group that is clamoring for a nighttime show like "Oprah After Dark". Based on my limited demograhic research, I'm pretty sure that most of the women who watch these shows aren't real fond of kidnappers.

But you know who appears to be? Attorney General Martha Coakley!

Back in 1999, Coakley was district attorney for Middlesex County near Boston. She approved a plea deal that allowed Palm Beach socialite Stephen Fagan to avoid prison after kidnapping his daughters in a 1979 custody fight and hiding them from their mother until 1998.

Fagan, who reinvented himself in Palm Beach as Dr. William Martin, said he took the girls from Massachusetts to Florida to protect them from an alcoholic mother who was endangering their lives a claim the mother disputed. The girls were raised believing their mother had been killed in a car crash.

Fagan pleaded guilty in a Massachusetts court in 1999 and paid a $100,000 fine, served five years probation and performed 2,000 hours community service at the VA Medical Center in Riviera Beach.

What, oh what, would Nancy Grace say about this? I bet it wouldn't be very nice. She seems like a kinda tough lady. I bet she wouldn't have let some guy off the hook for kidnapping just because he was a well-connected "socialite", would she?

'Cause like I say, I don't watch Grace's show, so I don't know what she would do. I do know that Martha Coakley would though.

And that's as obvious as red blood on a white sock.

digg this
posted by Jack M. at 01:49 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Mr. Barky: "151 Dan Bongino says the SS guys he knows say Joe ..."

Miklos, tossing his hair in that alluring way: "People that need a recipe for buttered saltines al ..."

davidt: "Which more better, bunny on a Saltine, or, bunny o ..."

Tonypete: "Early evening everyone. ..."

Lysenkos Bagged Lettuce, 100% abortion free and only tested for safety using abortions: "He's so cute I want to seize him by the face and m ..."

gp, Standing Up For What's Too Hard To Reach Whilst Sitting: "Saltines > Saltines. They are so fucking good t ..."

sven: "335 Posted by: exdem13 at March 02, 2021 07:32 PM ..."

Martini Farmer - Now a Pirate, Hoisting the Black Flag: "That's a lot of rabbit stew. ..."

Deplorable Jay Guevara[/i][/s][/b] : "[i]Geez, Jill, shoulda gone with Hillary's '92 cam ..."

Swingin' for the downs: ">>>My ma would spread butter like it was cheese on ..."

clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead: "LOL, is it that time again? ..."

Village Idiot's Apprentice [/s] [/b] [/i]: "I STILL like saltines, with salted butter. Now ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64