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December 23, 2009

Shocker: Maureen Dowd Column Attempts to Distinguish Ass from Hole in the Ground; Gives Up in Hopeless Confoundation

See if you can figure out the mystery that so befuddles the Vapid Vamp.

I'll bold the secret clue because you're more than likely drunk.

The Maverick’s buck stops here.

John McCain is no longer the media’s delight and his party’s burr, bucking convention with infectious relish.

The man used to be such a constructive independent that some of his Republican Senate colleagues called him a traitor. Now he’s such a predictable obstructionist that he’s in the just-say-no vanguard with the same conservatives who used to despise him.

On Tuesday afternoon on the floor, Senator Mitch McConnell, who contemptuously fought McCain’s campaign finance reform bill all the way to the Supreme Court, oozed admiration toward his Arizona colleague, as McCain did yet another grandstanding fandango on the health care bill.

Watching him, one can only wonder: Is McCain betraying his best self? Who is the real McCain?

Even some of McCain’s former aides are disturbed by the 73-year-old’s hostile, vindictive, sarcastic persona — a far cry from The Honorable Man portrait so lovingly pumped up in books by his former aide and co-writer Mark Salter.

After he lost to W. in a nasty primary battle in 2000, McCain delighted in poking at the new Republican president. But he was a trenchant critic of W.’s budget-busting tax cuts and other policies because his objections were consistent and honestly felt. (Or so we thought.)

Now he delights in attacking another man he ran against and lost to: a new Democratic president who had once hoped, based on McCain’s past positions, that his former Republican rival might be of help in such areas as the economy, national security, immigration and climate change.

With President Obama, McCain’s objections seem motivated more by vendetta than principle.

Hmmm... he attacked Bush for his "budget-busting tax cuts" (and MoDo thought his objections were principled). Focus, as the italics direct you to, to the supposedly "budget-busting" nature of Bush's tax cuts.

And now he attacks Barack Obama.

What could possibly explain that except personal vendetta?

Ponder, ponder, ponder.

Think, think, think.

Cogitate, cogitate, cogitate.

I give up. I'm as lost as Pulitzer-Prize winning sub-imbecile Maureen Dowd.

You know, this may not be fair, but when John McCain says "The Democrats are bequeathing to our grandchildren a crushing debt that will make their lives forever poorer," I can't help but hear him saying, "The Democrats are bequeathing to our grandchildren a crushing debt that will make their lives forever poorer, you effeminate demi-schvartze."

I mean -- that is what she's saying, right?

She cannot account for this "vendetta" by any rational question of policy. We know she is fond of ascribing a racist motive to disagreements with The One.

So -- you tell me. If Maureen Dowd cannot even manage to discover the secret clue cleverly hidden from her in her own fucking column, I guess it's time to admit that John McCain, who did everything but cheerlead the First Black President into office, is as unreconstructed a racist as, say, Democratic Pro Tempore of the Senate Robert K. Byrd.

Thanks to AHFF Geoff for the article, but I got all clever on it on my own.


The Picture of Maureen Dowd: Kaspar Hauser --

Based on her photo in the NYTs, Dowd is kind of like a journalistic Dorian Gray. Her looks never change, but her columns just get older, more senile and increasingly decrepit.

Michael Douglas just emailed me to say she wasn't all that when she was on the spry side of seventy, either.

One of My Favorite Posts Ever... Was this early one, about Maureen Dowd's word processor attempting to stop her from being such a friggin' moron about everything, and absolutely failing.


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posted by Ace at 10:22 PM

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