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December 07, 2009

Unauthorized Access to the President: Tiger Woods' Eleventh Extramarital Fling?


Golf requires Zen-like powers of concentration.
That's why I'm going to be rubbing my joint in the back
of your neck while you putt.

But just the tip, just the tip. I promise, Mr. President.

Yeah I know this is old, and a joke that's been made by now.

But seems like something that I should note here.

In case you care, Tiger liked his sex "frantic" and "desperate," which is... well, normal enough, really. In a perfect world, I mean.

I have heard the number is up to 10, but I don't know, because I don't really read these articles. The only thing I can learn from them is that which I already know: My life is bad.

Thanks to Tim for suggesting I address the Golf Digest cover.

BTW: There are reports that OJ Simspon was beaten in prison, but now there are a bunch of reports of the prison denying that happened.

Fake but Accurate: In case you haven't heard, that really is the cover of Golf Digest. The picture, however, is photoshopped, putting together a Tiger pic and an Obama pic.

Tips Obama Can Learn From Tiger? Slapping me around, having his "frantic" way with me, leaving me looking "like a rag-doll" (as that article on Tiger Woods says)?

I guess Obama has picked up a few tricks from Tiger. Because pretty much America is feeling like Ernie Anastos' marital-aid chicken right about now.



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posted by Ace at 09:18 PM

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