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November 09, 2009

Michael Steele Continues Racism Apology Tour on Your Behalf

You're welcome.

MARTIN: But your candidates got to talk to them. One of the criticisms Iíve always had is Republicans ó white Republicans ó have been scared of black folks.

STEELE: Youíre absolutely right. I mean Iíve been in the room and theyíve been scared of me.

Michael Steele continues helpin' out the team in all sorts of ways.

You know, I supported this guy. And yet I get him calling me a racist every third week.

He seems to be trying to promote himself -- himself -- as a "truth-teller" or something. First of all, I don't think this is the truth -- as Allah notes, he did not even take pains to limit his statement to a small group, but instead spoke broadly of Republicans -- and second of all, his goddamned job is to promote the party.

I keep seeing him attempting to build up his own personal credibility at the expense of everyone else in the party.

It must end.

This is the oldest trick in the book, and one all conservatives are rightly furious at. We all know that any prominent Republican can gain that Strange New Respect from the liberal media simply by running down his fellows. We all know this. We all know how ineffably easy it is to acquire the personal fondness of the liberal media -- all this is necessary is some quick and easy slanders of everyone else in the party.

In case Michael Steele didn't notice, the job of GOP chairman is to promote the party. Promote the party. Promote the party. Promote the party Promote the party.

That is the first responsibility of the job. There are no additional responsibilities. "Cultivating a warm regard for Michael Steele among the media and its political branch, the Democratic Party," is not a responsibility of the job, and is only useful at all to the extent it furthers the actual only responsibility of promoting the party. Which is impossible when you keep accepting the premise that the reason the GOP and blacks disagree is racism, as opposed to, say, a strong GOP attachment to capitalism and small-government and a strong black attachment to more socialistic and bigger government.

By the way, the only thing I fear about Roland Martin is that he'll get to the shrimp bar before I do. There's a certain kind of cat -- I think this is Roland Martin -- that gets off on thinking people are afraid of him just because he's black. Guy is a big fat mishapen ball of leavening Cinnabon's dough, but he's getting off on the idea that people around him are threatened by him.

Why would I be threatened? Memo: Big rippling arms are imposing. Big rippling backfat is not.

This ridiculous orca-Weeble would go into hypoglycemic shock before he could get off his second punch. And if he tried to sit his big fat pockmarked ass on me, I'd run.

And then what's he going to do? I'm not going to leave a trail of energy-filled Tater Tots for him to scoop up as he waddles after me like I'm doing some retro-80s performance art version of Pac Man with the world's fugliest Clyde.

Guy's got bigger jugs than Susan Sarandon and he thinks we're trembling in fear he's going to brrroooomski us to death by engulfing us in his abyssal man-cleavage. (Also known as "Stevage.")

Right, buddy. List of people I fear:

1. Roland Martin

2. Kitten Navidad & the entire cast of Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

The main fear I have looking upon Roland Martin's pendulous nipple-sacks is a disturbing sexual panic that Maybe it is the best of both worlds.

Hey, D-Cups -- the only White Republicans afraid of you are the CEOs at Sizzler's.

You want to scare me, pal? Three words: Enter The Zone.


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posted by Ace at 06:46 PM

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