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February 15, 2009

Never Waste a Crisis: A Financial Opportunity in the Age of Obama

I can't believe that I'm the first one to blog on this issue, but OK here we go:

Visionary writes book: "Hot Chicks with Douchebags". Female eye-candy accompanying some of said douchebags take offense to their inclusion in the book and sue said visionary in New Jersey. Judge, realizing that a world where douchebags and their female eye candy cannot be mocked is nowhere that anyone should want to live, dismisses the case.

According to a comment at Patterico's, one of the major reasons that the lawsuit was tossed out was that the filing attorney apparently "cut and pasted" from another previous suit in California, and in the "cut and paste" process, they missed a vital reference to California law. Because California law, at least not YET, doesn't apply in New Jersey, the judge used this as a reason for tossing out the case.

You know what? I can somewhat sympathize with the counsel for the douchebag eye-candy in this case. In my work on municipal projects and stormwater runoff erosion control projects, I usually copy large blocks of text from a previous project to avoid spending an extra hour retyping the information. We make a point of having three separate people proofread all these submittals before we send them out, but we occasionally have a reference to a prior project make it past the process. Luckily, most of these plans are never read by the administrative authority. They just go into a drawer to be brought out if and when a nuisance complaint or problem arises with the project. We've never had an error that compromises the paperwork's effectiveness to make it past editing.

This victory for free speech has got my mind whirling. Since we'll all be looking for a way to supplement our "Post Unicorn" income, isn't there a way for the AoSHQ to cash in on this phenomenon?

Some suggestions after the break:

"Hot Chicks with Firearms Instructors":
Scantily clad hotties are tutored in the finer points of proper firearms operations and marksmanship by goobers from Texas and Idaho.

"Hot Hunchback Chicks with Douchebags":
A straight out theft from the original concept, with the only difference being that all the hotties have "a little something extra". No, not THAT little something extra - we'll explore that niche market with the "Hot Thai Tranny Hookers with Douchebags" release next year. They're niche markets, but we've got to scour the market for all sources of income in a recession economy.

"Hot Chicks with 3L know-it-alls":
DVD releases of 57 minute lectures by geeky Third-year law students to pajama parties populated by hotties. Selected topics will include "The Law Of the Sea Treaty and American Sovereignty", "Collateral Estoppel: What the Hell is it?" and "Military Tribunals and American Civil Jurisprudence: One of These Things is Not Like the Other".

"Hot Chicks with Bacon":
Hot chicks. Bacon. They're both "force multipliers" used to make unpalatable topics and people become irresistible. The combination of the two should result in the biggest cultural fad since Tae-Bo. This is the one I'm banking on to pay for Baby Moses' college tuition.

I'm more than happy to take suggestions, but please don't think that your suggestion of a topic entitles you to have your name on the royalty check.

(Wicked hat tips to Patterico and longtime AoSHQ informant/tipster Matt M.)

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posted by Russ from Winterset at 10:46 AM

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