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September 06, 2008

Very Smart Man, Bill Maher, Who By the Way Is Much More Intelligent Than You Are, Pushing Trig Trutherism on His HBO Show

Yeahp.

What a sharp mind this tiny little strutting bantam of a Napoleon has. Why, I just want to grab him around his petite little waist and lift him up off his cute little elevator boots!


Rantburg catches him telling the dummies (that would be you) to stop calling Obama -- and people of Obama's intelligence level, like Bill Maher, it seems -- "elitist," because the thing is, they really are elite and you should accept them as your betters and Just get over it.

I forwarded this to a comic friend of mine in Hollywood:

Follow the link to Bill Maher's scary-funny post at salon.

Maher: "One of McCain's ads casts Obama as "the one," implying he thinks he's the Messiah. Good, maybe he can raise McCain from the dead."

New Rule: Comics should occasionally be funny.

Honestly, man, if you were writing anything, even an email, and your brain stumbled on to this, um, joke, and you couldn't think of anything else, would you write it, or would you just decide that sometimes being funny means avoiding being not funny and just write a non-joke?

Obviously, the answer is the second one.

Not only is it a lame joke, but it's even lame as to the type of joke; it's that seltzer-down-your pants ba-dum-dum kind of joke that's big on bad sitcoms. I'm falling asleep; does anyone know what I mean? There's a cheap and trite premise-"payoff" ahem thing to it, barump-dump.

This guy couldn't get a gig in a little casino bar in Vegas, and yet he's on HBO.

Hmm... let me do a joke almost as lame and dated as Bill's: Hey, Bill, Prince just called. He wants his stage-heels back.

Oooh, burn.

He should be the most America-lovin' patriot there is. No other country embraces horrid crap like America. (Hey, we do-- you want to argue? Bill Maher has a TV show; QED.)

What annoys me most about this sort of defense of "elitism" is that it's always offered by those who are asserting, fantastically, they are, in fact, elite themselves. But they're not. This springs from inadequacy; anyone who truly feels himself elite hardly has to apprise you of that. He'll let his sheer awesomeness speak for itself.

It's always these shitty little rat-fucks like Bill Maher who do the loudest and most ostentatious shrieking about the elite. Perhaps he's hoping if he says nice things about the elite enough times they'll finally invite him into the club. Even just as a mascot or towel-boy; Bill doesn't mind. He just wants to be part of it.

He's not even elite as a comic. Hell, he's not even good, nevermind elite. Bill Maher is and always was a piece of crap comedian. He never was funny. What he had -- and this was all he had -- was as shitty, sneering attitude that actually (I admit) separated him from thousands other comics, all vying to differentiate themselves and get attention. And I admit that any kind of attitude like that is helpful to a comic or any performer.

But his material and joke-writing have always been third-rate -- often atrocious and amateurish. He never actually had the funny, and he never will.

His one gift? The one thing that got him remembered? He seemed like an absolute prick onstage.

But that wasn't craft, that wasn't a persona he'd developed for his act. He was simply born a cheap, angry, petty little man with an absurdly oversized and unwarranted ego competing, as it often does, with a deep and much more realistic feeling of inadequacy. How absurd an ego? Well, he has never stopped crying over the fact Hollywood had no interest in making him a movie star. Yes-- he thought that someone with his looks, rat-face, and short stature could, and should, be a movie star. Think about that.

So his "talent" was one of pure chance and not of craft: He just was born an asshole, and he's ridden that particular rocket to... well, not success, but at least D-list mediocrity.

But he's goddamned proud of himself for reaching that pinnacle of the D-list elite, isn't he?


Correction: I thought Toobin's "that may be true...." was referring to Maher's very-elite theory of faked pregnancies, changeling babies, governors running around in fat suits for three months, and ongoing fake lactation and breastfeeding through some sort of fake-boob milk-pump device.

Commenters point out he seemed to be agreeing only with the proposition that "Republicans will lie about everything." I see that makes more sense now.

Apologies.


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posted by Ace at 05:35 AM

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