Proposed Law Would Ban "Visual Sexual Aggression" | Main | Italy Votes; Retards Come Up Short
April 14, 2008

Hillary +16 In Indiana

Which is good, considering that 90% of the state doesn't even have TV or radio, but instead relies on a slower, traditional method of communication involving carving crude "Messenger Runes" into neighbors' foreheads and genitals.

So any breaking news is limited in speed according to how long it takes you to catch, pin, and inscribe your neighbor. Plus the limited number of onlookers who can see your message carved into him before he dies from blood loss.

It's one of those "traditions that work" that rubes turn to when the mill closes. Obama's not against that tradition, mind you. He finds it quaint and colorful.

Fun fact: Indiana is where the saying "No news is good news" was coined.*

Bonus there: Rush Limbaugh says "This is who he [Obama] is," echoing Anwyn.

*Another fun fact: I was once caught by an Indiana cop skinning a hobo in the bushes.

"So," he says, "What's the news?"

News? I wondered to myself. "Um... Dow up 40?"

"Carry on," says he, and walks away.


digg this
posted by Ace at 05:04 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Darth Randall: "Things are good in the country. We cant have the ..."

Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd: "127 and Staycations and Funemployment. those were ..."

Old Blue: "Now I'm off to listening to the Stones. Didn't muc ..."

Blue Bird of F'ing Joy: "[i] That's a fact and it's due to the lunatic poli ..."

yankeefifith: "Netflix will be circling the drain soon Posted by ..."

Lizzy[/i][/b]: ">>Spending the Netflix loot like gangsta rappers. ..."

Ha: "Also, isn't Martha's vineyard...well, very white? ..."

Barack!: "There's only so big of a dog you can eat... ..."

Xipe Totec: "Who would believe anything the Taliban agrees to? ..."

Surfperch: "Netflix and a few others will be teh next Enron. ..."

Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd: "116 and this is my favorite semi obscure Steely D ..."

yankeefifith: "lol, you know martha's vineyard would be just abou ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64