Journal of Sexual Medicine: Shorter Sex is Best

Ok. They just suckered me in with the headline. I will admit, I was looking for a little reinforcement. But this study is bullshit.

A new study, published today in the international Journal of Sexual Medicine, says the best sex should last seven to 13 minutes, it is being reported by news.com.au/heraldsun.

Is this some kind of metric thing? How many seconds to a minute are there in Australia anyway, 12?

Americans usually expect intercourse to last between 15 to 20 minutes, according to other U.S. studies, so this new study is designed to have a calming effect on couples who think healthy sex has to last a long time.

We do? Who? Do you morons expect 15 to 20 minutes, not counting the begging part (which can easily last several days around here)? What is this "calming effect" the article claims?

It's like I woke up in Crazyworld or something. Nothing makes sense to me anymore.

Then I noticed the study author is a woman.

"Usually women are quite happy with short intercourse, and are not bothered about prolonging it at all, but nearly all men want it to be much, much longer," Dr. Jane Howard, a medical sex therapist from Brisbane, Australia, told news.com.au.

Hmphh. I don't know what your angle is here, Dr. Jane Howard a medical sex therapist from Brisbane Australia but I know you're up to something. And despite your outrageous assertions about these impossibly long encounters that you have the audacity to call "short", I can assure you that my self-image remains undamaged and I am quite secure in my masculinity.

So there.

Here's some appropriate music I think (Sobek or Laura showed me this).

Two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven.

Or so I've heard.

posted by Dave In Texas at 09:25 AM

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