Sponsored Content

Intermarkets' Privacy Policy

Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!

Recent Entries
Absent Friends
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

« Journal of Sexual Medicine: Shorter Sex is Best | Main | Bill Clinton Makes $700,000 Windfall on Felon's Money-Losing Company Backed By Chinese Government »
March 07, 2008

Fat American Consumed By Hatred and Corpse-Feeding Vermin, But Mostly... Eh, Let's Call It 50/50

Although, I guess, Adam Gadahn consumed a lot of donuts too, and if he'd been a bit svelter, maybe he could have dodged a bit of that shrapnel.

Fat American dies of decadent lifestyle? Apparently so.

That is at least what another source claims. It's just another source and this remains unconfirmed, but no one, except Al Qaeda, is gainsaying it yet.

Twelve militants were killed in a single missile attack on a residential compound in Khushali Wazir in the Mirali tehsil during the night of January 28. A loud explosion rocked the area at 11:22 p.m. According to well-informed NEFA sources in Pakistan, among those reportedly killed in the attack were senior al-Qa’ida commander Abu Laith al-Libi, his former deputy Abu Suhail, Hamza al-Somali (of Australian or US nationality), and Azzam al-Amriki (an a.k.a. of American al-Qa’ida member Adam Gadahn) [Gadahn’s death has yet to be officially confirmed].

Additional reports say he's surrounded by 72 virgins, who are all telling him, "I like you too much as a friend to ruin it with sleeping you," which is an even weaker excuse than normal considering the fact he 1) just met them a couple of days ago and 2) no one really liked "as a friend" or otherwise.

When your coworkers are all Al Qaeda and even they say stuff like, "Yes, al-Zawahiri is, oh I don't know, maybe a little over the top sometimes, but it's that Adam Gadahn who's really an asshole," well.

Not sure if Adam Gadahn was born Jewish, but let's say he was. He was a very high-ranking Al Qaeda terrorist, perhaps number five in the whole organization, which means, sadly, that even when it comes to Al Qaeda terrorism, Jews and Americans are just better at it than most Islamist fuckheads.

Can't you guys even manage a decent go at this without fucking it all up? We've left a whole field of human endeavor wide open to you -- true, a thoroughly stupid and evil field, but we figure that's about your speed -- and you're still being outpaced by the Jews and Westerners and Jew-Westerners.

Allah wants to know why Al Qaeda hasn't announced his death yet. Well, maybe Al Qeada just tends to be shy about confirming the deaths of major figures -- like, perhaps Osama bin Ladin himself.

And maybe those in Al Qaeda who know he's dead aren't saying yet, because they're too busy arguing about how to divide up his child-porn mags/XBOX games/Cheetos of the Month Club subscription.

Dan Riehl has a good death-clock tick-tock of the events leading up to Adam "Rerun" Gadahn's untimely sad scrumptious demise.

Just Got An Email From Adam Gadah... Turns out Paradise has a Fat Camp. An eternal one.

Oh well, sucks for you, man. How many times did I tell you? Atkins.

Carbs are killers.

So are Predator drones armed with Hellfire missiles, actually.

But you know that. I guess I'm preaching to the converted on that one, huh? LOL (wink)

Eighties-nostalgia video-baiting:

digg this
posted by Ace at 09:53 AM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Reforger: ""OK," says Elon Musk: Posted by: Biden's Dog sni ..."

fd: "I need one of those .50 Barrett machine guns like ..."

Florida Peasant : "I did not think that I could possibly become more ..."

bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door : "180 Yes. 27 States with constitutional carry. PA w ..."

Adam Schiff for Brains: "I love My Pillows..... They work really well ..... ..."

Blago: "Gun control is one issue conservatives should pat ..."

vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion: "ding dong ..."

nurse ratched, otter 841 superfan, she's still free!: "And their security teams will NEVER be scrutinized ..."

Give me a minute and I'll think of something that's actually gory: "I hope she is being viciously sodomized by Satan's ..."

Vanya: "Plus that little Afghanistan thing... Posted by: ..."

nurse ratched, otter 841 superfan, she's still free!: "Interesting how the politicians who so vehemently ..."

Skip : "Even when Frederick took Silesia large portions we ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64