« Gun Ban Case: D.C. v. Heller | Main | Hey Kids, Guess What’s On The Menu…Amnesty! »
February 12, 2008

Anyone here have any experience with competitive eating contests?

The only competitive eating I've done is a bet I had with a couple of co-workers about 15 years ago on who could eat the most slices of pizza at a lunchtime buffet. I ate 18 slices (they were pretty small, so it was probably a whole xtra large pizza) and I can't remember if I won or not, since we all pretty much slept at our desks that afternoon.

You all saw the announcement of what I'll be doing on March 1, so you know that I'm going to be looking down at a plate filled with sweet, artery clogging pork candy and wondering how to eat it all & ask for seconds.

The eating contest is supposed to run from 2pm to 3pm, and I'm assuming that we'll have the whole hour to get busy with chowing down. I'm assuming that the bacon will be sliced to a regular thickness like you find at the store, so it's probably fair to figure that it will weigh approximately 1 ounce per slice (precooked weight), resulting in 16 slices per pound. If I plan on eating a slice every 15 seconds, that puts me on pace to eat 1/4 pound of bacon every minute, and gives me a hour-end total of 15 pounds. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't WANT to eat 15 pounds of bacon at one sitting, but I've got to have a pace, so this is the one I've chosen. I'm not figuring in any bathroom breaks, or stopping to laugh as my opponents spew half-digested bacon & PBR on the crowd, so that pace isn't intended to be an hour-long average. I just figure that I should try to eat at a constant rate, and that seems like a good number to shoot for.

What I need now is advice on how to prepare myself for the day of reckoning. Should I eat lots of bulky foods in the run-up to the event to help stretch my stomach, or should I go in hungry & hope my stomach stretches enough during the competition to accomodate the platters of crispy pig that I'll be wolfing down? One of my college buddies is going with me, and he jokingly said that he's planning on sitting down every night with "Eye of the Tiger" on the stereo and 2 pounds of bacon on his plate to "train for the event".

Any thoughts?

digg this
posted by Russ from Winterset at 11:04 AM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
TheQuietMan: "Indiana woman driving with her head up her ass run ..."

creeper: "So Macon is having a "Day Without Cars".I think I' ..."

Tom Servo: "195 Anybody want to deep-dive some numbers? Lots ..."

Jak Sucio: "J.J. gives good rant. Except on weekends. ..."

Lady in Black - Death to the Man Bun[/i][/b][/u][/s]: "Oh brother, tomorrow the City of Macon is having a ..."

freaked: "I'm gonna drive my truck downtown, cause it aint a ..."

Anon a mouse: "did I get that right it's a state wide law?" 95 ..."

Lady in Black - Death to the Man Bun[/i][/b][/u][/s]: "Insty has a Ras poll that 51% believe high crimes ..."

Anon a mouse: "Nothing spells useless quite like "GOP." Chuckl ..."

Huck Follywood, a low grade social fever: "Since when has a little thing called residency sto ..."

freaked: "Oh brother, tomorrow the City of Macon is having a ..."

t-bird: "[i]Why do I get the impression Hillary Clinton, ak ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64