Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups






















« Sioux City Turns SUX Airport Code into Marketing Campaign | Main | Michael Barone: 2007 Isn't 2006 »
October 22, 2007

No, Dumbledore, I will not join your Warcraft guild

That's right.

You and your whole guild of Chinese gold farming leet-ninja's can take your crappy ass guild and stick it up your pale, never seen the sun, pimpled ass.

Sure, you claim to be a "friendly guild" that wants to "help people level" and "run instances for phat loot".

But if that's the case, why are you continually sending me whispered messages asking me to engage in "HOT CHAT in the DEEPRUN TRAM"?


Look, I get it. You play a female Night Elf rogue on Warcraft. You think I don't know that you are a dude?

Let's face it, your character selection speaks volumes about who you are. You are a sexually frustrated 45 year old virgin, or a prepubescent 11 year old virgin. In any event, you are a virgin. And probably a Ron Paul supporter.

And despite my repeated protests, and my frequent use of the ignore feature, you continue to message me, under different names. I'm really getting pissed.

Get this straight, Dumbledore, or xxLegolasxx, or AzianHottie. I'm just not into you, and no amount of naked cartoon dancing in Ironforge is going to change my mind.

And, hells no, I will not lend you gold so you can buy your freakin' mount. You know who has money for your mount? The monsters you are supposed to kill, douchetool. If you would stop hitting me up every time I go to the auction house, and you would spend that time playing the damn game, you would have your mount.

Vent??? Teamspeak??? You have the audacity to invite me onto your Vent/Teamspeak channel where I actually have to listen to your drooling, "glaven!"-esque exclamations that leave me wondering which event will happen first: your balls will drop, your voice will change, or we'll put a Man on Mars. I'm betting on Mars.

And yes, I saw the commercial. "Four wheels of fury!" was funny the first time I saw it. So was "Leroy Jenkins". But just because you have an epic mount doesnt mean you have to have a macro yelling "I've just equipped the FOUR WHEELS of FURY!!!1!1!!!" everytime you get on your battle ram in Alterac Valley. Seriously, Dumbledore, it doesn't help your case.

For the love of Elune, if you start roleplaying one more time on this PVP server, I swear to freaking God, I will hack your account and shard all your armor. Who the frack ever heard of a "Lawful Good" rogue anyway? What the hell do you mean that "sapping is unsportsmanlike". This is PVP, noob! I swear, if you cause me to get ganked one more time, I'm gonna do some "role play" on your ass. My role? Marsellus Wallace. Your role? The hicks in the basement of the gun store.

Do you understand, Dumbledore? Am I getting thru to you?

So no, Dumbledore, I will not join your guild. Stop spamming me with requests to "sign your guild charter". Stop e-mailing me in game. In fact, just do us all a favor and delete your damn toon.

By the way...my guild is raiding SSC tonight at 7:00. Will you have your priest on-line? We need a healer.


digg this
posted by Jack M. at 02:46 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
rickb223 Gold & Silver Spot Prices [s][/b][/i][/u]: "Saw that The Hill is running an editorial today th ..."

Down By The Old Mill Farm: "It's true! All us Christmas Tree farmers have an u ..."

Tonypete: "No! I will not give you my ID! I'm traveling, ..."

[i]Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM)[/b][/i][/s][/u]: " Buncha weak-spined centrists here again, I see ..."

Amber, Penthouse Pet of the Year: " I've never gotten a ticket! I get pulled ov ..."

Sponge - F*ck Cancer: "[i]Ya, since last Tuesday. Spent 17 days straight ..."

Ian S.: "I see we’re very centered today. Saw that ..."

[i]Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM)[/b][/i][/s][/u]: " Kid: "How was I to know that we just crossed ove ..."

Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ Next year in Corsicana - again! ~ [/i][/b][/u][/s]: "[i]168 "This holiday season, like any time of the ..."

olddog in mo: "I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. He was a p ..."

Another Anon: "18 thousand games. In one year. I'd be interes ..."

naturalfake: "[i]Our sexual incentives come from the time when w ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64