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August 05, 2007

Borgnine and Martin in "Brokeback Mountain" [rcl]

I loved "Brokeback Mountain". No, really. It doesn't get any better than cowboy buggery. The one problem I had was that, while Mr. Ledger and Mr. Gllyllyyl...are the Andrew Sullivan Cowboy ideal, I could not help but harken back to the days of yesteryear, when the screen cowboy was a tad less effete and waifish...


" Mr. Blonde: Boy that was really exciting. I bet
you're a big Lee Marvin fan aren't ya? "
- Reservior Dogs
http://64.233.161.104/search?q=cache:pYo8Rwau3mAJ:www.imdb.com/rg/title-tease/quotes/title/tt0105236/quotes+i%27ll+bet+you+are+a+lee+marvin+fan&hl=en

Sir,

I've been following the controversy surrounding
Bareback Mountain. It has reminded me of the change in
Hollywood in my lifetime. I remember when a great guy
flick, feel good movie involved the life affirming,
edifying act of good guys killing Nazi's by the
bushel. Now, it's two underwear models committing
prodigious buggery in a pup tent.

I started to think of when the male stars didn't sport
a waifish six-pack, when the biggest question they
answered was whether they wanted their scotch on the
rocks or wet (usually at ten in the morning). When the
"male" star was actually a man. He was balding and
would have busted a gut if he tried Pilates. You knew
he suffered from hemmoroids and he played poker in the
garage with the guys well before it was fashionable.
He looked and acted as though he could protect the
homestead as opposed to staring into his navel and
sadly lamenting his inability to truly know the joy
and pain of carrying a child in his womb.

I started to think when the two male stars you need to
open a movie weren't the dreamy Jake Galllll..kkkk
(whatever) and the brave Heath Ledger (brave cuz he's
a hetero sex symbol who bravely buggers Jake on camera
as opposed to a non-Hollywood man who is brave by
putting himself in harms way in a heroic fashion in
the real world, but I digress). Remember when guys
like Lee Marvin and Charles Bronson and Ernie Borgnine
were the "male" stars you needed to open movies?

Just compare the classic "Emperor of the North" to
"Bareback Mountain"

" Meet the Emperor of the North: This movie is about
one hell of a man who lived when Dillinger was
slamming banks and Roosevelt was awakening the nation.
He's a hard-time fast tracker who's been where it's
mean. A grizzly with a sense of humor. A wandering
rebel, living off the land by his wits and fists. Now
he's taking on the biggest run. A challenge no one
ever survived. That's why he has to do it. Emperor of
the North..."
Press Release
http://www.angelfire.com/folk/famoustramp/emperor.html

"Forbidden Man Love in a Pup Tent"
Mr. X

OK, the last one is fake, but,

"A raw, powerful story of two young men, a Wyoming
ranch hand and a rodeo cowboy, who meet in the summer
of 1963 sheepherding in the harsh, high grasslands of
contemporary Wyoming and form an unorthodox yet
life-long bond--by turns ecstatic, bitter and
conflicted..."
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0388795/plotsummary

Lee Marvin was never "...ecstatic, bitter or
conflicted..." He was too busy kicking ass.

Compare and contrast the respective "looks" of
Bareback and Emperor:

http://www.impawards.com/2005/brokeback_mountain.html

as opposed to

http://www.angelfire.com/folk/famoustramp/emperor.html

Or

http://www.afterelton.com/movies/2005/9/brokeback.html

compared to say

http://www.americanphoto.co.jp/photosearch/Previews/CIN00332_068.jpg

or how about these:

http://www.ew.com/ew/report/0,6115,1083278_1_0_,00.html

http://www2.una.edu/library/borgnine/port22.htm

Yeah, times have changed. And not for the better.

I spoke with a friend who is also a movie fan. We were
trying to picture the movie moguls tring to pitch
those stars of yesteryear on Bareback Mountain. My pal
thought the conversation would go something like this:

FOCUS MOTION PICTURES STUDIOS: 2:00 PM: SOMETIME IN
THE NOT TO DISTANT PAST:

“Mister Borgnine, thank you so much for coming. I’m
Michael Costigan. This is Tom Cox. And you probably
know Ang Lee, our director for this project.”
“Angry about what?’
“Excuse me?”
“What’s he angry about?”
“Oh, Ang, sir. Ang Lee. May I call you Earnest?”
“You get punched in the face a lot, don’t you?”
“Oh, well, Mister Borgnine. I just want to tell you
what an honor it is that you are considering this
role. After I saw you in the Wild Bunch and with Lee
Marvin in Bad Day at Black Rock...well, I just knew
you would be perfect for Brokeback Mountain.”
“Bareback Mountain?”
“Brokeback, sir.”
“Naa, I’m fine. It hardly bother’s me at all anymore.
Lee’s on this film?’
“He should be here any minute. Excuse me for a
moment. Margaret. Margaret!”
“I think you’re pressing the wrong button there,
Mike.”
“Oh, yea. Margaret?”
“Yes sir, mister Costigan?”
“Is Lee Marvin here yet?”
“I’m sending him in right now, sir.”
“Wonderful. Just wonderful. Earnest Borgnine and Lee
Marvin together again in an Ang Lee film. I can see
the poster now...Mister Marvin, so glad you could make
it.”
“Yea. Ernie, how the hell are you?”
“Great Lee, just great.”
“Mister Marvin. Have a seat, please. May I call you
Lee?”
“Didn’t I punch you in the face last time you asked
me that?’
“Um, well, Mister Marvin, this is Ang Lee, our
director.”
“Anglee what? Don’t you have a last name, boy?”
“It’s Lee sir.”
“What did I tell you about calling me Lee?”
“Sorry, sir. Um, well, the project...”
“Yes, the project. Mike, you mind if I take it from
here?”
“Of course, Tom. You guys know Tom Cox, right?...
Well, anyway, This is Tom Cox. He’s the other producer
on this project. Go ahead, Tom.”
“Okay, gentlemen, here it goes. Brokeback Mountain:
‘Love is a force of Nature.’”
“I like the title. Sounds tough.”
“Thank you Mister Marvin. Anyway, You will be playing
Ennis Del Mar. And Mister Borgnine will be playing
Jack Twist. You’re two cowboys, riding, side by side
in the modern West.”
“Oh, good, a Western. There ain’t been a good Western
since John Ford died.”
“Yes, sir mister Borgnine. We feel this is the sort
of project Mister Ford would have taken on if he were
around today.”
“Anglee, you ain’t comparing yourself to mister Ford,
are you?”
“Well, no mister Marvin...”
“’Cause if you are, I’ve got to be the one to tell
you, you don’t look like you could carry his jock
strap.”
“Yes sir, mister Marvin.”
“He don’t look like he could carry a jock strap, does
he Ernie?”
“Who the hell wears a jock strap, Lee? Jesus Christ
on a crutch. I’m gonna be late for supper if you all
don’t get to the point. Get on with it Cock.”
“Cox, sir. Tom Cox.”
“Whatever. Get on with it.”
“Yes sir. Anyway. The two of you are riding through
the range, and it gets to be nightfall, and there’s
only the one pup tent...”
“Pup tent? What the hell kind of cowboy sleeps in a
pup tent?”
“Well, mister Marvin, it’s cold out...”
“It could be colder than a witches tit with frost
bite. I ain’t never heard of no cowboy sleeping in no
pup tent. You think Chuck Bronson needed a pup tent in
Death Hunt?”
“No sir. Well, anyway, there’s just the one tent, and
it’s freezing out...”
“That’s right, freezing. Not just cold. Freezing.”
“I get it. Me and Lee here got to fight to the death
over who gets the tent and who freezes to death
outside, right?”
“Well, mister Borgnine, there is some wrestling...of
a sort.”
“Yes, of a sort.”
“You see, you both share the pup tent.”
“Excuse me, boy?”
“We do what?”
“Lee...Sir...Gentlemen. It’s a matter of survival,
and...”
“And it is really very cold out...”
“Oh, hold on a second, Earnie. I get it. I lure Ernie
here into the tent with me, then I cut him open and
crawl inside him to stay warm.”
“That’s a hell of an ending, boys.”
“Thank you mister Borgnine...um...well no, mister
Marvin, you do end up inside him....”
“What the hell are you boys getting at here, anyway?
We don't’ fight to the death. Lee don’t cut me open
and crawl inside me to keep warm. There’s a pup
tent...Who’s playing the love interest? I mean who are
we gonna be fighting over?”
“I hope they got Jill Ireland.”
“Or Jackie Bisset maybe. Now there’s someone I could
share a pup tent with.”
“Well, that’s just it, gentlemen. The love
interest...”

EIGHT AND ONE HALF MINUTES LATER:

“We’re here on the scene of a tragic fire at Focus
Motion Pictures Studios, where the entire building has
just mysteriously burned to the ground.
Award winning director Ang Lee, and producers Tom Cox
and Michael Costigan were found inside the wreckage of
the building, apparently bludgeoned to death.
Officials state that it will require DNA testing to
determine which body parts belong to who.
Back to you in the studio.”


Courage,

rcl

digg this
posted by xgenghisx at 12:28 AM

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