Lindsey Lohan Could Get Six Months In The Joint | Main | Worst Boss Ever
July 31, 2007

A New Age in AOSHQ

An age without Ace. Weird.

At the HQ right now, the vodka is just about gone, and Slublog and Dave are kickin' back, watching deviant porn on what Ace used to call 'the super-mini widescreen,' which is a 21 inch Magnavox manufactured in 1974. It renders all the flesh tones an angry red-purple color. Ace liked it that way.

Jack M. and Johnny Coldcuts are just getting done having some kind of a meeting in the bathroom, as usual. Coldcuts looks pleased. I'm starting to think that may not be mayo under Jack's lip.

But I have to do something about Giamboni. He dragged his desk right up next to mine on his first day back.

Every time I go to sit down he's got his hand waiting palm-up on the cushion. And I'm not crazy about his little pet names for me, such as 'Miss Pussycat,' 'Sugarbuns,' 'Hump buddy,' or simply, 'Cootch.'

Like this morning. He strolled up to me as soon as I came in, stirring some Monitor Lizard saliva into his coffee. "Top o' the mornin', Cootch!" he roared. Dave and Slublog giggled like little schoolboys, eyes pinned to bouncing purple midget flesh.

"Stop calling me 'cootch,' you fucking psychotic retard," I reasoned. "If Ace were here, he-"

I had to stop there.
It's not really all that different around this place, to tell the truth.

digg this
posted by Laura. at 10:15 AM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
platypus, gg channel: "They are dangerously insane . Posted by: #reak ..."

AlaBAMA: "Jefferson would have marched on Washington by now. ..."

Skip: "61 While your there could you get a nice single ma ..."

tcn in AK: "When they go low, we to lunch. ..."

Wyatt Earp: "Hugh #TruCon Hewitt invited Buzzfeed Ben on his mo ..."

Huck Follywood, dedicated to coffee: "How in the fuck can anyone have Matthew Continetti ..."

rammajamma: "Russia has to be laughing at how easily they have ..."

The Great White Scotsman: "Didn't the fbi/cia/nsa/everyone in the intelligenc ..."

Insomniac: "I'm sick and tired of these suckers of cock. I hop ..."

#reaked: ""They know they will not be prosecuted for any vot ..."

SMH: "He has no media to defend him, and no party to def ..."

Don Q: "I'd bet that Putin wants the Dems to take back the ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64