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Niners' Coach Bill Walsh Dead At 75 | Main | A New Age in AOSHQ
July 31, 2007

Lindsey Lohan Could Get Six Months In The Joint

You know, Lindsey Lohan. That chick from that movie about the identical twins. What were their names? Oh yeah, Leftie and Rightie.

I think she did a couple of sequels, like Hey, Check Out These Fat Sweater-Pumas and Oh No, I Just Traded My Big Cans With My Stacked Mother.

Six months isn't so hard. I f I go back to the joint again, I'd just use that time to get ripped and practice my katas.

The thing is, getting arrested for runnin' from the cops at 100mph all sloppy-drunk and coked-up turns out to be the highlight of this stupid whore's week. Her new movie is called Rack Attack or something.

Never heard of it? Yeah, me neither. I think that was maybe the whole idea.

The critics are calling it the worst movie of the year. Now, don't get me wrong, critics are fuckin' queers, but the fact is every single one of them goes out of their way to let you know that not only does this movie suck a rat, the girl from In Six Years These Will Be Resting On My Lap doesn't even get naked in it. And there's only like three months left to get any mileage out of those puppies.

Words like "career killer" are being used. And "uninsurable risk."

I'm no Charlie Hollywood or nothin', but that doesn't sound good to me.



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posted by Rich "Psycho" Giamboni at 12:44 AM

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