"Ego Has Landed" Pop Muffin Robbie Wiliams As... Captain Kirk?

All I can say is he's better than Matt Damon.

And you've got to admit: He's got the Kirkian cockiness and hamminess and preening down.

Can he act?

No idea. Never hurt Shatner any.

If he can play Bond, why not Kirk?

I just like that video because it samples the hook of the underrated James Bond Theme You Only Live Twice.

BTW, I don't buy this for a red-hot second. They're always floating these absurd stunt-casting ideas for publicity. Like, again going to James Bond, the rather absurd idea of casting Burt Reynolds as Bond after Connery's retirement.

Uh-huh. Razor-rimmed cowboy hats and lasers disguised as CB radios. What-ev-eh.

Story Garbled! So let me try to degarblify it.

Assuming there's anything to this rumor, Williams is not going to play Kirk. He doesn't have the cache to carry a big-budget franchise relaunch. Few outside of 15 year old girls in England even know who the fuck he is.

Plus we don't even know he can act. Mug, yes. Act? No idea.

But as Charton points out-- he's a dead ringer for the former Captain of the Enterprise, Captain Christopher Pike!

And we know they're going for near-dopplegangers (wisely). Sinise for McCoy is inspired.

So-- let's get the story right by expanding our mindthoughts. Open up with a young Kirk, only second in command on a relatively minor ship, up for possible command of the brand new, state-of-the-art ship-of-the-line Enterprise. Also in the office as Star Fleet makes its decision: Robbie Williams as Christopher Pike. Pike gets the command. Kirk gets the condolence that while he's has lots of potential, he's just too young.

A year passes. Kirk is summoned from his boring duty to Star Fleet. The wreckage of a man that is now Pike is being evacuated off the Enterprise, highlighting the danger of the command. And now Kirk is told he'll be placed in command. And warned he might have some tensions with his capable but odd second in command Spock.

Makes a little more sense, huh?

Oh... by the way, I'm savvy enough to know you don't insert two otherwise-unnecessary scenes just for the sake of fan-service of the hardest core geeks. Obviously those scenes, if they were to be in the film at all, would have to serve other purposes, like establishing, I don't know, Kirk is too cocky for his own good (or, alternately, he's actually underconfident when he first gets his command, and only after being tested under fire by the midway point of the film does he get his signature swagger).

Whatever. I just threw that out as a notion, not as a fully-developed idea.

Just sayin', really: Williams is a dead-ringer for Pike.

posted by Ace at 05:24 PM

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