The Women of Red Eye Calendar: An Idea whose time has come!

Even though the good people at "Red Eye w/Greg Gutfeld" have never seen fit to invite either me or Ace onto the show (probably out of fear that we will either be way too funny, or that we won't leave), I am going to share my latest money-making idea with them. For free. How's that for generosity in the face of constant snubbing?

There should be a "Women of Red Eye" Calendar. Seriously. This has to happen.

I don't care what the sale proceeds go towards. They can go towards treatment for Greg's "Unicorn" fetish. They could go towards Bill Schulz's inevitable gender-reassignment surgery. Or they could even go towards some gay shit, like charity or something.

To further this idea, I am even going to submit my nominees for inclusion in the calendar, to help stimulate, um, discussion.

January: Janice Dean (See..Janice...January...it's thematic!)

February: Tia Williams (One hell of a way to celebrate Valentines Day!)

March: Courtney Friel (March??? Hell, she makes me stand at attention!)

April: Alison Rosen (No April showers are "golden" jokes here..she makes me see rainbows!)

May: Suzanne Sena (because May is my birth month, and Sena is my favorite. That's why!).

June: Rebecca Gomez (The stock market isn't the only thing going up when she's around!)

July: Julia Allison (Julia...July...work with me, people.)

August: Ainsley Earhardt (Because you can't spell August or Earhardt without T and A)

September: Julie Banderas (She hosts "The Big Story"...in my pants!)

October: Kerry Howley (because Libertarians scare me...like Halloween!)

November: Dominica Davis (this selection is Ob-V).

December: Mrs. Gutfeld (in the role of Mrs. Claus...get your mind out of the gutter, you sickos.)

See how awesomely awesome this could be?

Treacher, Levy, I know you guys drop by occasionally.Take this idea and run with it. Run like an angry unicorn!

And if you need to hire someone to make this thing, come together, I'm available.

(Give me a break..the original sentence was "if you need to hire someone to "pull this off", I'm available. But that sounded a little too gay, even for this moronblog.)

posted by Jack M. at 02:00 PM

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