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April 19, 2007

Surgery: The AoS Med School Way

Apparently, medicine is finally catching up to the benefits offered by the AoS lifestyle. In fact, as the following story proves, doctors are adapting their techniques to incorporate the AoS lifestyle into their practice.

What other conclusion can be drawn from this article, in which a woman HAS HER GALLBLADDER REMOVED THROUGH HER VAGINA!!!

Let me repeat that for those of you who might be a little slow: GALLBLADDER. REMOVED. VAGINA.

My biggest question? How did they get it past the teeth?

To the blockquotes!

Doctors in New York have removed a woman’s gallbladder with instruments passed through her vagina, a technique they hope will cause less pain and scarring than the usual operation, and allow a quicker recovery. The technique can eliminate the need to cut through abdominal muscles, a major source of pain after surgery.

I told ya!

Interest in this idea heightened after doctors from India made a video in 2004 showing an appendix being taken out through a patient’s mouth. The patient had abdominal scars that would have made conventional surgery difficult.

Ladies, if your gyno asks you to "open up and say 'Ahhhhhhhhh'" you might want to be even more skeptical than usual. Especially if your gyno is named "Tushar D".

The New York patient, 66, had her gallbladder removed on March 21 and is recovering well, said her surgeon, Dr. Marc Bessler, the director of laparoscopic surgery at Columbia University Medical Center. Dr. Bessler said he thought it was the first time the operation had been performed in the United States, and he plans to show a video of the operation at a gastroenterology meeting in Las Vegas on Sunday.

A video? That's HOTT! Number of ejaculations? 5.

Then again, you have to wonder if this was an elective procedure. A 66 year old woman is probably happy to have anyone interested in probing her vagina at this point.

Of course, some are not pleased by this latest advancement.

Dr. Christine Ren, an associate professor of surgery at New York University’s school of medicine, called the vaginal procedure “repulsive” and said: “As a woman I find it very invasive, physically and emotionally. To me it’s quite distasteful. You will really have to prove to me that there is a benefit.”

Ohh...meee-owwwww. I think someone is a little jealous that their va-jay-jay isn't the center of attention anymore. You know how catty women can be.

Other doctors (obviously patriarchal oppressors) were a little more positive:

Dr. Bessler said his patient agreed to the procedure (two others had declined) because he told her he thought it would have advantages for her, and she accepted his judgment. She was the first in a study that is to include 100 women who need gallbladder surgery, appendectomies or biopsies taken from inside the abdomen. All the procedures will be done through the vagina.

Remember what I said about 66 year old women? In another 40 years or so, I'm gonna score big time at the retirement home. I can read you post-menopausal women like a book.

But where are we heading in this brave new world? The future is scary my friends....

Eventually, Dr. Bessler said, he expects to use the natural-opening technique on men as well as women, with instruments passed down the throat or into the rectum to cut through the wall of the stomach or intestine to reach the gallbladder or other organs. But first, surgeons have to develop techniques to make sure that the cuts in the stomach and intestine can be sealed completely after the operation so that they do not leak into the abdomen, which could cause serious complications. Incisions through the wall of the vagina rarely cause leaks, he said.

OK...this whole rectum idea? Now that's just crazy talk.

In related news, rumor has it that Andrew Sullivan just signed up to be a test subject.

In any event, ladies, you've been warned.

And all I ask is that the next time you are in the stirrups, you think of me.

It's the least you could do.


digg this
posted by Jack M. at 10:43 PM

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