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October 24, 2006

World's Number One Manly Man? Who Else-- George Clooney

Easily beating cancer survivor and all-time-most-dominant cyclist Lance Armstrong.

I guess manliness is mostly determined by the heft of one's jaw.

George Clooney is the No. 1 man's man, according to a list compiled by AskMen.com.

The Oscar winner tops the Web site's list of what it calls the 49 best representatives of the male gender. Rap mogul Jay-Z, adventurer-entrepreneur Richard Branson, cyclist Lance Armstrong and designer Tom Ford make up the rest of the top five, in order.

Designer Tom Ford? Okay. Sewing a darling frock is pretty damn manly, I admit.

Strangely absent from the list is fitness guru Richard Simmons.

The list was culled from nominations submitted by readers of the online magazine, who were asked to name the top "ambassadors of male-kind." Voters were asked to look for traits such as integrity, charisma and intelligence.

But not, apparently, actual manliness.

...

Bill Clinton ranked 10th and Tiger Woods 13th. ...

Rocker Bono was 27th, Apple co-founder Steve Jobs was 29th and director Martin Scorsese was 46th. "Entourage" star Jeremy Piven ranked 49th.

Sgt. Paul R. Smith, pothumously awarded the Medal of Honor in Iraq, was briefly considered, but was judged deficient in the categories of "Young Hollywood Arrivistes Seduced" as well as "Guest Starring Roles on Facts of Life."

"Sergeant Smith did give his live valiantly in the cause of defending freedom, and saving his fellow soldiers," an AskMen spokesfemme said. "And I suppose that's, you know, kind of manly, if that's your idea of manly. But we wanted a diverse selection of representatives of Man-Kind, including A-list celebrities, B-list celebrities, and even a few C-list celebrities. When push comes to shove, being dead really reduces your Q-Rating [an industry guage of a celebrity's popularity and likability]."

The list was compiled by a group of men deemed to be the most qualified to judge manliness, including tabloid reporters, pop-culture magazine writers, non-entities who appear exclusively on VH-1's various Hey, Remember What Just Happened Ten Minutes Ago? shows, and the mystery "blogger" from StopSexualPredators.

In related news, America is doomed.

Thanks to yls.


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posted by Ace at 01:03 PM

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