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October 19, 2006

Stingray Jumps Out Of Water, Piereces Man Through Chest

They hate our freedoms.

A leaping stingray stabbed an 81-year-old Florida boater in the chest, authorities said today, leaving its poisonous stinger lodged close to his heart in an incident similar to the one that killed Australian TV naturalist Steve Irwin last month.

Fire Department officials at Lighthouse Point, about 50km north of Miami, said James Bertakis was in a small recreational boat with two grandchildren yesterday when the spotted eagle ray leapt aboard and struck him.

"It's just a real freak thing," said Lieutenant Mike Sullivan, saying the incident occurred on Florida's Intercoastal Waterway, where stingrays are rarely seen leaping in the air.

A freak thing?

Maybe.

We're getting close to the Rule of Three.

"There's a saying in Chicago, Mr. Bond," Goldfinger said. "Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's enemy action."

I'm open-minded about hunting down every one of these godless, pedophilia-enabling stingrays and subjecting them "harsh interrogations" until they talk. Which they won't, so we'll just kill them.

See? Open-mindedness is easy.

Thanks again to JackStraw.



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posted by Ace at 05:32 PM

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