Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!



Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups





















« Norman, Coordinate! | Main | Whistleblower outs fellow employees as Ace of Spades Lifestyle Crusaders »
June 12, 2006

Thread jack! Corporate brainstorming at al-Qaeda International, the global leader in jihad

The death of the Mesopotamian district's head honcho, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, and the appointment of Abu Hamza al-Muhajer as his successor has taken the jihad industry by surprise! Fear of corporate downsizing and losing one's global dominance in the jihad industry has got industry insiders scrambling to make sense of the new AQI. Never fear, AQI is as relevant and as powerful as ever. With the global jihad trade show coming up in Las Vegas this summer, we must work together to ensure our industry partners and rivals are mutually impressed with AQI's products and award-winning service.

What are we to expect from the new AQI? [If you missed the beginning of the meeting, please read the minutes here.]

Put on your thinking caps, troops, and come up ideas for our new leader, Abu Hamza al-Muhajer, in this town-hall meeting of the minds!

Mikey NTH:

AQI will not be down-sizing, AQI will be rightsizing. We will take a proactive approach to all personnel issues in order to maintain momentum on the new strategy in the Mesopotamian district. Through rigorous internal interviews we will assess the skills that that our people have developed. AQI will use lateral transfers to get more personnel into the field and will offer certain select employees an "early out" program, allowing the increased hire of energized recruits from the top Madrassa Programs. In addition, there will be mandatory mentoring programs where employees will be encouraged to watch one another's backs to ensure competitors do not get past us and to ensure the delivery of a quality jihad product.

AQI's personnel benefits programs are a jewel in its crown with the finest afterlife benefits available anywhere.

With a combination of new practices and the current benefits AQI will continue to recruit the best in global jihad.

After-life care, mentoring programs, internal recruitment and skills assessments! Excellent!


digg this
posted by Feisty at 03:47 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
BurtTC: "Kamala Harris @KamalaHarris 8h My message to ever ..."

Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd: "I misread that first line as Whitmer caned. Had to ..."

Divide by Zero [/i]: " Skip - Wrong link https://event.donaldjtrump. ..."

Deplorable Jay Guevara[/i][/s][/b]: "AtC said it wasn't a religious reference at all, b ..."

rhennigantx: ""Nepotism, favoritism, corruption -- that is part ..."

I'm Gumby Damn It!: "38 For heaven's sake! The man is barely cold! L ..."

Deplorable Jay Guevara[/i][/s][/b]: "Kamala Harris @KamalaHarris 8h My message to ever ..."

nurse ratched : "205 197 Whitmer caved after being condemned by the ..."

Divide by Zero [/i]: " [i]Wow! Guessing you need a connection to get ii ..."

Romeo13: "So, the Judge in the Jack Smith persecution, has a ..."

SMOD: "The back roads of Pennsylvania Berks and Bucks cou ..."

haffhowershower: "197 Whitmer caved after being condemned by the Mic ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64