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9/11 rescuers fighting cancer | Main | Toad versus the Princess; or, Some People Take Super Mario Kart Too Seriously
June 11, 2006

Texas - A Hunter's Paradise

At some point in our education, many of us were required to read “The Most Dangerous Game”, a short story about hunting people as sport. There’s a rancher in Texas who seems very enthused about the idea of hunting The Most Cunning Game – Jews. Or should that be The Most Money Grubbing Game? The Shadowy Worldwide Conspiracy Game? The fun starts 1:12 in to the clip.

The friendship shown to me on this blog by Dave in Texas, Mrs. Peel, and other Texans is now suspect. I’ve become convinced it that it was all a charade, an attempt to lure me to their hunting grounds. Once I was there, they would drug me and I would wake up in a dry gully with nothing but an animal skin loincloth. Of course drugs and leather loincloths are part of my normal Saturday nights, so it would take me several minutes to realize something was amiss. I’d have to run for my life while my shipmates watch from orbit powerless to interfere. My only chance for survival would be to build a primitive cannon using bamboo and minerals I gathered while evading my enemy.

Of course, I’m only half Jew, so they wouldn’t let men hunt me. I’d be used for the Ladies Auxiliary hunt, or maybe for a 12 year old to get his first kill. Mrs. Peel – I know you have a .22, but you’ll probably want something more powerful. I’m a big guy, and you might have a hard time stopping me with the pea shooter. A thick layer of blubber protects my heart, and my brain is walnut sized and encased in heavy bone.


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