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December 21, 2005

Temporary Restraining Order Issued Against David Letterman...

...for speaking televised "code words" to tell a woman he wanted to marry her and groom her as his co-host.

In other words, he hyp-mo-tized her.

state judge granted a temporary restraining order to Colleen Nestler, who alleged in a request filed last Thursday that Letterman has forced her to go bankrupt and caused her "mental cruelty" and "sleep deprivation" since May 1994.

Nestler requested that Letterman, who tapes his show in New York, stay at least three yards away and not "think of me, and release me from his mental harassment and hammering."

...

Nestler's application for a restraining order was accompanied by a six-page typed letter in which she said Letterman used code words, gestures and "eye expressions" to convey his desires for her.

I'm glad this woman has finally taken a stand. For six long, terrifying years, "Balky" from Perfect Strangers sent me "psycho-o-grams" telling me he would flay the skin from my body and stitch it around animal organs, burned pages from the Bible, and Winterfresh Mentos, all to make a full-sized Ace juju doll/sex zombie.

For some reason, he was also really keen on seeing the full director's cut of Dune with me. And I'm like, Jesus, the short version was tedious enough, you know?

I'm telling you, the guy has a screw loose or somethin'.


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posted by Ace at 09:41 PM

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