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December 16, 2004

Chevy Chase Offends Even Norman Lear With Vulgar Rant

Nothing wrong with vulgarity; trouble is, it has to be funny. And this is Chevy Chase we're talking about.

When Kevin Smith was asked to re-start the Fletch franchise, he was asked what actor he saw playing Fletch.

"Well," Smith said, "of course I see Chevy Chase in the role."

The studio executive pursed his lips. "I'm afraid we are no longer in the Chevy Chase business," he said.

True story. He said so on Howard Stern.

You know the sad thing about this washed-up clown? Meatballs II was better than Caddyshack II. Check the videotape-- sad, but true.

Pretty much how I describe myself-- no longer in the Chevy Chase business.

Top Ten Most Offfensive Statements Made By Chevy Chase

10. "I'm hoping for a Golden Globe Award for Cops & Robbersons"

9. "Would I like to do a late night talk show?! Would I!"

8. "As soon as we get the financing together, we're going to start principal photography on Deal of the Century II: Deal of the Millenium"

7. "I'll be honest: Vegas Vacation is just about the best Vacation film yet."

6. "Sure, I'm going to be at the next SNL renunion show. And what do I have planned? Why, a wacky pratfall entrance. Those just never get old."

5. "I'm sorry, but for that kind of money, I can't even phone it in for Man of the House... tell you what, you give me two more points in the gross and maybe I can manage to fax it in..."

4. "Nothing But Trouble? Well of course I'm intrigued. If Spies Like Us proved anything, it's that Chevy Chase plus Dan Aykroyd equals pure comedy gold!"

3. "We absolutely didn't do Caddyshack II just for the money. I just always had a lifelong dream to work with comedy-legend Robert Stack."

2. "Send me the contract." (Said in response to agent's query about Memoirs of an Invisible Man.)

...and the Number One Offensive Chevy Chase Statement...

1. "I'm Chevy Chase, and you're not... going to stop hearing me spout off about politics until I'm so broke I'm hawking 'Landshark' busts on QVC"

You know the really sad thing? Watch Caddyshack II; then watch Meatballs II. Sad as it is, Meatballs II is actually the better movie.

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posted by Ace at 11:15 AM

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