School Pride: Rutgers Supports Our Troops | Main | "We Have Awoken a Sleeping Wussy"
December 04, 2004

"PEST" Continues Claiming Victims

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Maybe both:

“The media outlets, especially Rush Limbaugh and his ilk on talk radio, scare our patients to death,” said AHA executive director Robert J. Gordon, facilitator for the meetings. “More than anything else, people with PEST tremble physically.”

...

“We mostly let them vent during the first session,” Gordon said. “By the third session, we’ll be doing some meditation exercises to aid some of their symptoms. We may use visualization and some techniques designed for bipolar disease and other mental disorders. That might help them adjust to reality.”

Um, maybe.

May I suggest breaking out the Aggression Puppets? I had a schizophrenic break when Robert Reich was appointed Secretary of Labor and beating the shit out of that little puppet -- I called him "Fidget" -- really got me past my issues.

According to AHA officials, symptoms of PEST are similar to post-traumatic stress disorder. They include nightmares, sleeplessness, hostility, listlessness, and emotional outbursts including threats to leave the country.

In Alec Baldwin's case, the symptoms also include starring in Cat in the Hat.

“There’s an overall sense of emotional helplessness and abandonment,” said Sheila Cooperman, a licensed AHA psychotherapist from Delray Beach. “In psychology, we call it ‘learned helplessness.’ After you zap a caged dog twice, he stops moving because he knows there is no place to go. That’s what happened with these Kerry voters. They’ve been zapped so many times that they’re on the verge of giving up on politics.”

And we can't have that now, can we?

Look, I've given up on the New York Giants, so I guess I sort of know the feeling. But the fact is, guys, that there will be an election in 2008.

Except if Bush cancels it and installs a ruling military junta and declares himself El Jefe Maximo para Vida, as Paul Krugman always suggests. But honestly, what are the odds of that?

No greater than, say, one in three, I'm thinking. So look on the bright side: There is better than 66% chance that we will not be living in perpetual fascist warstate within two or three years.

It's a glass-is-half-full kind of deal.


digg this
posted by Ace at 04:40 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
J.J. Sefton: " Merkin Fluffer. Bloody disgrace. ..."

Roc Ingersol: "For 32 million, Oreilly had to have denied her a j ..."

Witwickian Sage (muh IP code is : "I wonder how fucking Sessions can recuse himself f ..."

dagny: "[i]Laura Ingraham is allegedly "terrorizing" Fox s ..."

Insomniac - Getting Microaggressed on the Daily, Yo!: "I wish these vapid, under-talented, overpaid atten ..."

Richard Gere: "Well after that spastic full body dry heave set to ..."

The FNM: "Laura Ingraham is allegedly "terrorizing" Fox staf ..."

Marcus T, Disappearing Comment Man: "Time to pig pile on O'Reilly. Oink! ..."

18-1: "Oops, stupid sock. ..."

illiniwek: ""bring charges and get convictions against some of ..."

Slumber'n Sessions: " but the NYTimes reports that he settled a co ..."

Steve and Cold Bear: "4 ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64