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October 07, 2004

If He Can Put Hayden Christiansen in Return of the Jedi, Can't He Replace Jar-Jar With, Say, Norm MacDonald?

I sorta want to buy the Star Wars trilogy on DVD, even though the trilogy was almost ruined by the prequels.

But Lucas, determined to "improve" the originals until they suck just as bad as the prequels, has inserted Hayden "Manniquin Skywalker" Christiansen into the end of RotJ, replacing the "Force ghost" of old Annikin with young, annoying Annikin.

I also understand that not only does Greedo shoot first, but now, before he shoots, he says "Captain Solo, I am going to go cut down acres of virginal rainforests as soon as I am done killing you by shooting at you from close range (and yet missing by a good half yard). You would certainly be well-justified in drawing out your gun furtively and giving me what's what right in the chest! And furthermore, no children younger than 6 years of age should get the idea that you would be behaving dishonorably by doing so!"

Yeahp.

It's kinda like the J. Giles Band's Centerfold, except with droids and muppets. But it hurts even worse, because, nudy pictures or not, Angel was still hot.

Oh no, I can't deny it. Oh yeah, I guess I gotta buy it.

Update: Sort of an interesting discussion there, if you're a geek for such things. Pressing question: Did Lucas really intend Leia to end up with Han from the get-go? Did he always envision Luke and Leia as twin siblings?

If so, why does one of the spin-off "novels" feature Luke and Leia making out?

A bit kinkier than we've come to expect from George "My Kids Wanted More Jar-Jar, So I Gave Them More Jar-Jar" Lucas.

Urgent Update! I'm not the only one pissed off and crazed over this incident.

Apparently Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith, is so distraught he's taken to mugging pizza-delivery men. Armed with what is either a blaster "set to stun" or just a conventional stun-gun.

Don't believe me? I find your lack of faith... disturbing.

Thanks to AndrewF for that.


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posted by Ace at 10:45 AM

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