Saturday Night Club ONT - May 23, 2026 [D Squared]

Welcome to Club ONT - a collaboration of The Disco and The Dino. Come in in, grab a drink or 3.

Raise one in honor of those who fought and died for this great country. They are the reason for this holiday weekend. "Time Will Not Dim the Glory of Their Deeds"

[Top photo: Flags for Memorial Day at Boston Common]

Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

After Mass, the priest caught up with Mark and said, "Mark, I am so glad you decided to come to Mass. What made you come?"

Mark said, "I've got to be honest with you, Father. A while back, I misplaced my hat, and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine, and I knew that McGlynn came to church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of the church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest said, "Well, Mark, I notice that you didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"

Mark said, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the Ten Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn’'s hat."

The priest gave Mark a big smile and said, "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' you decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell, right?"

Mark shook his head and said, "No, Father. After you talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,' I remembered where I left my hat."

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A drill sergeant was addressing a squad of 25 and said, "I have an easy job for the laziest man here. Put up your hand if you are the laziest."

24 men raised their hands, and the drill sergeant asked the other man, "Why didn't you raise your hand?"

The man replied, "Too much trouble raising the hand, Sarge."

Drink of the Night

Tonight we drew the Six of Clubs from our deck of playing card cocktails

Club ONT Department of Questioning Correlation and Causation

True? Apparently so (according to Grok).

Ohio ranks #1 in the U.S. for library circulation per person. In 2023 data (analyzed and released around April 2026 by USA Facts / Institute of Museum and Library Services), Ohio led with 12.99 items checked out per resident (including physical and electronic materials).

Ohio ranks #1 in Mountain Dew sales according to the brand's own 2026 data. Mountain Dew (PepsiCo) released a list naming Ohio #1, followed by North Carolina, Michigan, Kentucky, and Florida. This appears to be total sales volume (not explicitly per capita in all reports).

Club ONT Department of Cat Identification

A leopard doesn't change its spots, but how do you know it is a leopard?

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H/T - nurse ratched

Club ONT Department of Public Health

Brain-eating amoeba found in hot springs at 3 National Parks

A new study detected Naegleria fowleri, better known as "brain-eating amoeba" in thermal waters at Yellowstone, Grand Teton and Lake Mead.

The study, published in ACS ES&T Water, analyzed 185 water samples from 40 thermally impacted recreational waters between 2016 and 2024. Overall, 34% of the samples tested positive for N. fowleri. Samples were collected at Yellowstone, Grand Teton, Olympic National Park, Newberry National Volcanic Monument and Lake Mead. The amoeba was not detected in samples from Olympic or Newberry; however, other nonpathogenic Naegleria species were found there.

The amoeba does not infect people when contaminated water is swallowed. Infection can occur when warm freshwater containing N. fowleri enters the nose, allowing the amoeba to travel to the brain.

Most U.S. cases have been linked to swimming, diving or other water activities in warm freshwater. Fewer than 10 cases are typically reported in the United States each year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Symptoms can include headache, fever and nausea before worsening to confusion, seizures and coma. The infection often progresses quickly and can be fatal within days.

Club ONT Department of Hellport Availability

Turkmenistan's fiery "Gates of Hell" crater is dimming

Recent data suggests the flames of Turkmenistan's famous crater are starting to go out.

The Darvaza Gas Crater, more commonly referred to as the "Door to Hell" or "Gates of Hell," is a 196-foot-wide pit of fire about the size of a soccer field located in Turkmenistan's remote Karakum Desert. The crater has been ablaze for more than 50 years and has been as much a popular tourist attraction as it's puzzled scientists.

BBC reports the crater has been ablaze for at least 40 years, but recent data suggest it is slowly dimming.

The flaming crater's heat intensity has reduced by over 75 percent over the last three years.

Club ONT Jukebox

Getting fired up tonight!

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Happy Anniversary to those who celebrate

Top 10ish Comments of the Week

Club ONT is brought to you tonight by: lil' buckaroos

Club ONT regrets to inform our patrons that President Trump wanted to join us here tonight, but according to a message he sent to the DJT/Disco/Dino group chat:

"Circumstances pertaining to Government, and my love for the United States of America, do not allow me to do so."

posted by Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

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