Saturday Night Club ONT - February 7, 2026 [Double Feature]

Welcome to Club ONT - a collaboration of The Disco and The Dino. We opened the doors for you; the rest is up to you. Open thread as always. Have fun. Be witty. Don't feed the trolls. Tip your bartenders. Try the veal. Actually - do NOT try the veal. We don't even serve veal. Wait, is that thing still ALIVE?!?

Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

A guy walks into a bar after a long day at work and orders a drink.

As he sits there, mulling over his day, he hears a high-pitched voice say, "That shirt looks great on you!" The man looks around, sees nothing, and returns to his drink thinking nothing more of it.

But then, a moment later, the voice returns, this time offering, "You seem like a really cool guy!" Again, the man looks around, sees nothing, and returns to his drink, wondering if he should get checked out by a professional.

Finally, when his nerves have cooled, and he believes the voice is gone, he hears, "I bet your parents are really proud of you!" He slams down his drink and looks around wildly. Frustrated and finding no possible source of the voice, he calls over the bartender.

He says, "Hey barkeep! What's that voice I keep hearing?" "Oh, those are the peanuts," the bartender replies. "They're complimentary."

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An amnesiac walks into a bar.

He goes up to a beautiful blonde and says, "So, do I come here often?"

Drink of the Night

Tonight it's the 5 of Hearts from the deck of playing card cocktails.

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Because it is a double feature kind of night, here is a bonus drink from the Horde:

Here's an idea under consideration for the Club. This type of beverage delivery system - but with BEER!!!

Club ONT Breaches Movie Thread Territory

The Decades of Double Features

For years, the double feature was a dependable part of the movie-goer's life. Where did it come from, and where did it go?

Nowadays, if someone says the phase "double feature," any number of things may come to mind. Maybe you remember seeing a double-bill of movies at a second-run theater or drive-in in your younger days; maybe it makes you think of amusingly schlocky horror like "I Was a Teenage Frankenstein"; or maybe it gets you humming the opening to The Rocky Horror Picture Show. All of these have one thing in common: poppy nostalgia. Watching two movies back-to-back seems sort of adorably retro as a concept (we say, as Netflix pops up to ask if we're still awake after episode #6 in a row of Samurai Gourmet).

Long but interesting article. Possible cure for insomnia!

What about you, Club patrons? Any memorable double feature experiences? Keep it clean - this is (mostly) family friendly blog!

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The headline for this video makes ZERO sense! (link is SFW)

Top 10 Pointless Nude Scenes in Movies

The Club ONT Jukebox Is Malfunctioning!

Mystery click provided for photo assistance

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In other music news, Dee Snider has resigned from Twisted Sister and the band has canceled the remaining dates on its 50th anniversary concert tour.

"Unbeknownst to the public (until now) Snider (70) suffers from degenerative arthritis and has had several surgeries over the years just to keep going, able to only perform a few songs at a time in pain," Snider's representative said in a statement on the band's website this week.

"Adding insult to injury, Dee has recently found out the level of intensity he has dedicated to his life's work has taken its toll on his heart as well. He can no longer push the boundaries of rock n' roll fury like he has done for decades. Says Snider: 'I don't know of any other way to rock. The idea of slowing down is unacceptable to me. I'd rather walk away than be a shadow of my former self,'" the statement continued.

Sad news, but the biggest surprise is that Twisted Sister has been around for 50 years and was still touring.

Club ONT Department of Nostalgia

Club ONT Department of Kitchen News

Notice to Club ONT Kitchen staff: If you're wondering why the new "warning" signs have been installed near the deep fryer, this is why. The paperwork for deep fryer incidents is a nuisance and our insurance coverage is precarious at best. We also care about your well-being. But the paperwork is really bad.

Male Cook Died In Olive Garden Horror

An Olive Garden employee died from burn injuries he suffered after thrusting his head into a deep fryer in what police have categorized as a suicide attempt.

The harrowing incident occurred Friday afternoon at the Williamsport, Pennsylvania restaurant where the decedent worked as a cook.

Police and emergency workers arrived at the restaurant around 4 PM in response to 911 calls about an employee removing his clothes and attempting to harm himself. In audio from the Lycoming County fire and EMS service, a dispatcher is heard saying, "I don't have a lot of details, lot of people screaming, some kind of a burn victim."

In a subsequent dispatch, the operator added that, "a male victim went head first into the fryers."

Club ONT Music

Let's see how random and eclectic we can be!

Top 10ish Comments of the Week

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Things we won't understand until we've all aged at least 21 more years

Club ONT is not responsible for arbitrating disputes among opposing fan bases of Olympic curling matches. Club ONT appreciates the instinct to applaud a good sweep of the stone, but please cheer respectfully. Club ONT also does not officially sanction wagering on Olympic curling matches, but rumor has it that someone in the back room might quote odds if you're interested.

posted by Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

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