Saturday Night Club ONT - January 31, 2026 [Double Vision]

Welcome to Club ONT - Seeing double? D and D? This is a collaboration of The Disco and The Dino.

The parking lot may still not be fully cleared from last weekend's snow storm, but we are full open for both business and fun! Don't let the lyrics to tonight's mystery click give you any ideas about our guests there on that table. They are friends, not food!

Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

And on the first day of creation, God created the cat.

On the second day, God created man to serve the cat.

On the third day, Gold created tuna, mice and all the animals of the earth to serve as potential food for the cat.

On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the cat.

On the fifth day, Gold created the ball of yarn, the feather thingie on a string, and the catnip mouse so that the cat might or might not be amused.

On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the cat healthy and the man broke.

On the seventh day, God tried to rest but the cat woke him up at 5:00am.

Hat tip: Iris

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Late one afternoon, the Airmen out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.

The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Airmen started a full background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.

By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.

The day after that though, to the total disbelief of the Airmen, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane, only this time there were two people in the plane.

The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!"

Drink of the Night

Tonight we drew the 5 of Spades from our deck of playing card cocktails

Even though the word "conch" rhymes with BONK, we won't do that to you if you mispronounce it!

Club ONT Wants It That Way

Club ONT Department of Fashion

"What would Batman do?"

Club ONT Music

Putting this in the mystery click would have been too easy!

How about a version you've probably never heard?

Someone say "double"??

Some retro commercials for Doublemint Gum!

Top 10ish Comments of the Week

Definitely not a Comment of the Week:

Club ONT Brought to you by...
Dumb and Dumber spinoffs

Club ONT is a retard free zone. Please leave your retard at home. Know the difference between a retard and a Moron. Please don't pet or feed the iguanas. The iguanas are sensitive to flash photography. That means do not flash them while taking a selfie. You don't want to know what happens!

posted by Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

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