Saturday Night "Club ONT" December 20, 2025 [The 3 Ds]

Welcome to Club ONT. A collaboration the 3D's - The Disco, The Dino, and The Doggo. Five days until Christmas - we're in the home stretch. Come on in, unwind, and relax for a bit. Eggnog, Chex-Mix, both white and multicolored lights. We took the mistletoe down after the Christmas party.

That comment places RickZ and mindful webworker on the Club ONT VIP list. Lifetime of restroom tokens, complimentary jug of hooch, and the subtle nod that parts the velvet ropes (ok, the ropes are kite string and yarn, but still).

Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of its name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the restaurant employee: "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce very slowly where we are?"

The employee leaned over the counter and said: "Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiing."

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Today I was beat up by a busty woman in an elevator. Evidently I was staring at her breasts when she said please press one. I don't remember much after that.

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(H/T - Teresa in Fort Worth)
Joe passed away; His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend. "Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased," she said. "I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "How much did this really cost?" "All of it," said Helen. "Thirty thousand." "No!" Jody exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?" Helen answered. "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church. The wake, food and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone." Jody computed quickly. "$22,500 for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?!" "Two and a half carats."

Drinks of the Night

Because Butter, Rum, and yum.

Hot Buttered Rum.

Ingredients 1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened 1 stick 1 cup sugar, dark brown 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves 1/8 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 cups hot water 3/4 cup dark rum 1 teaspoon vanilla extract cinnamon sticks for garnish

Instructions

In a large bowl, beat the butter and brown sugar with an electric mixer on medium speed for about 5 minutes or until light and fluffy.

Add the cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, salt, and vanilla extract to the bowl and mix until well combined.

Transfer the spiced butter mixture to an airtight container and store in the fridge or freezer until ready to use.

To make the hot buttered rum, add 2 tablespoons of the spiced butter mixture to a mug.

Pour in 2 ounces of dark rum and top with 1 cup of hot water.
Stir until the spiced butter mixture is dissolved and the drink is smooth.
Garnish with a cinnamon stick or whipped cream, if desired.

For Our Patrons Who No Do Not Partake

CBD is right, these recipe links are out of hand with the nonsense and scrolling required to get to what you want. Recipe below is going off memory and spitballin'. Your memory jokes are not that funny.

Grasshopper. Non-alcoholic style.

2 cups of vanilla ice cream (or whatever seems about right - give it a 'smoosh')
3 TBS Crème de menthe syrup (non-alcoholic, green mint syrup)
1 TBS Crème de cacao syrup (non-alcoholic, clear chocolate-flavored syrup)
Whipped Cream. Because whipped cream.
Maraschino cherry (fancy pants garnish)

Chuck all ingredients into blender (press the button - this is an important step)
Blend until you get that smooth, rolling thing going on with ingredients
Pour into most convenient glass in the cupboard and top with Maraschino cherry
Glance in mirror and raise your glass as you walk by

Club ONT Department of Theology

From 2007, but still noteworthy:

A Romanian murderer who sued God for "fraud" and "betrayal of trust" for failing to answer his prayers has had his case dismissed in court, a newspaper has reported.

The daily Evenimentul Zilei says 40-year-old Mircea Pavel brought charges against "the defendant God, who lives in the heavens and is represented in Romania by the Orthodox Church" for failing to free him from evil.

Mr Pavel, who is serving 20 years in jail for murder, accused God of "fraud, betrayal of trust, corruption and influence peddling."

"At my christening, I made a deal with the defendant aimed at freeing me from evil," he wrote.

"But the latter has not respected that agreement until now, although he received from me various assets and numerous prayers."

The court in Timisoara, in western Romania, dismissed the case, ruling that "God is not subject to law and does not have an address."

Service of process doesn't work well for the devil either. A 1971 case in Pennsylvania titled "Mayo v. Satan and His Staff" involved a prisoner in Pennsylvania. The judge described the claim as alleging that "Satan has on numerous occasions caused plaintiff misery and unwarranted threats, against the will of plaintiff, that Satan has placed deliberate obstacles in his path and has caused plaintiff's downfall. Plaintiff alleges that by reason of these acts Satan has deprived him of his constitutional rights."

"We question whether plaintiff may obtain personal jurisdiction over the defendant in this judicial district. The complaint contains no allegation of residence in this district.

We note that the plaintiff has failed to include with his complaint the required form of instructions for the United States Marshal for directions as to service of process."

Case dismissed.

Club ONT Department of History

Hubcaps. Jewelry for cars, clock faces, oil drip pans, animal feeders, and more. There were some pretty cool ones in the day.

Great pictures and some eyebrow raising prices.

Cadillac Eldorado Fleetwood Biarritz Seville Price: $7,000 Year: 1959 – 1960

Even though two of these Cadillac hubcaps were repolished, they still command a high value because of their brand and design. It uses the spring-loaded retention famed for its extra protection capacity.

Links are like beer. If one is good, two are usually better. Historical summary.

1680: First used on Newton Reaction Carriages Pre-1915: Mostly made of nickel-plated brass 1920s: Mostly made of aluminum 1927: First snap-on center caps for wire wheels 1930s: Spring-loaded retention clip used 1938: Full wheel covers introduced 1940: Hubcaps expanded in size for function 1940s: Dog dish hubcaps featured on base model vehicles 1950s: Lack of hubcaps represented in drag racing 1960s: Stainless steel full-spoke wheel covers introduced 1970s: Plastic wheel covers introduced 1980s: ABS wheel covers replaced steel hubcaps on all cars

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Trains. And a very sleek, art deco style one.

Probably the coolest train you will see today: The Mercury (1940s) pic.twitter.com/VM13E1vxe6

— Historic Vids (@historyinmemes) December 18, 2025

Here is a rundown of Christmas train rides in the United States. Any done a Christmas train adventure?

Sip a cup of hot cocoa and nibble a warm sugar cookie when you hop aboard the 1880 Train‘s one-hour Holiday Express journey with Santa and Mrs. Claus. These holiday train rides depart from Hill City in the heart of the Black Hills, near some of the state’s biggest attractions, including Custer State Park, Crazy Horse Memorial, and Mount Rushmore National Memorial. Adults may purchase a spiked ticket and enjoy their hot drink enriched with a potent potable served in a keepsake mug.

Club ONT Snacks

Club ONT Fist Fight at the Claw Machine

A new game at Buc-ees.
Giddy up. pic.twitter.com/FYFASIvzXo

— RWB_American (@RWB_American) December 18, 2025

Club ONT Music

Is it September or December?

Discuss/debate:

Top 10ish Comments of the Week

Somebody cracked the code.

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Club ONT Recognizes Energetic Christmas Decorations

Because nothing says 'Murica quite like a Christmas light show (with fireworks) that is bright and busy enough to distract nearby air traffic.

Club ONT disclaims any responsibility for injuries sustained by Grandma from incidents with reindeer. Reindeer are known for being out and about this time of year and not all Reindeer have the benefit of a red-nosed guide. Caution is warranted.

posted by Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

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