Saturday Night "Club ONT" October 11, 2025 [The 3 Ds]

Welcome to Club ONT! A collaboration the 3D's - The Disco, The Dino, and The Doggo. We are one week out from TX MoMe X. Where will you be?

Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

On the chest of a barmaid in Vail
Was tattooed the prices of ale,
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille.

***

An atheist is hiking in the woods when suddenly a huge bear pops out from behind a bush.

Right as the bear is about to attack, time freezes and god appears.

God says, "You have spent your whole life as an atheist. But if you finally believe in me and become a Christian I will stop the bear from eating you."

The man says, "That's really nice of you, but I don't really believe in a higher power."

God responds, "All you have to do is believe your eyes and accept me in your heart."

After thinking for a moment, the man says "That's just to hard for me to do. I mean science has already answered how we came about through evolution. Not only that, but with all the bad things happening in the world right now, it's just too difficult to believe that there is a god. I'm sorry but I just can't do it."

God says, "Are you sure? I will give you one more opportunity to believe in me."

The man says with confidence, "As I said, no thanks."

God says "OK, you have made your choice..."

The man has a thought. "Wait... How about you make the bear a Christian instead? And then he will have morals."

God responds, "Very well."

After God left, time restarted. The bear suddenly stopped and the man started to believe that his plan to save himself had worked.

The bear knelt down and said "Thank you God for this meal I am about to receive."

***

Those damned booby traps.

pic.twitter.com/oZ0BdzuIfO

— Mens_Corner__ (@Mens_Corner__) October 9, 2025

Drink of the Night

Another playing card cocktail - because lazy

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This was featured on a recent Doof ONT, but it is worthy of repeating here at the Club

Club ONT White Lies

Let's hear the white lies of the horde.

Here is the setup: Plain white T-shirt, black Sharpie, and one harmless little lie scrawled across the front. What do you have, Horde?

Spitballing:
The Horde: I am great at math.
AOC: I won't make a TikTok about you. I don't want to date you.
The Disco: I hate Rush.
JackStraw: I don't like your boat.
The Dino: I can reach that.
Lurkers: I am really an extrovert.
The Doggo: I love my vet appointments.
The Cobs: I cannot time travel.

Club ONT CEO Fun

Herb Kelleher was a treasure. The story goes: in the '90s, Herb and 10-15 of his Southwest Airlines employees (think attractive flight attendants) were in line, trying to get into the Downside Risk bar in Old Town Scottsdale. Tired of waiting, Herb asked the doorman to call the manager or owner. When the owner arrived, Herb said, "Hey, I'm Herb Kelleher from Southwest Airlines, and we've got a bunch of us who want to come in and have some fun."

The owner replied, "Herb, I love your airline. The next time I don't have to stand in line to board one of your planes is the next time you don't have to stand in line to get into my bar."

Herb laughed his ass off, got back in line, and waited his turn.

Amusing Herb reading

Here are some of the things Kelleher was known for during his years at Southwest:

- imitating Corporal Klinger from the television show M*A*S*H by showing up at one of the company's hangars on Halloween dressed in drag with a feathered boa.

- appearing in print ads as Elvis Presley.

- claiming his two greatest achievements were a talent for projectile vomiting and never having had a serious venereal disease.

- staying at a bar with a mechanic until four in the morning to find out what is going on. And then fixing whatever is wrong.

But my favorite story is when Kelleher, age 61 at the time, settled a trademark dispute with an arm-wrestling competition.

Hit the link to see his arm wrestling.

Moron Worthy Effort - Perfect Timing

Club ONT Scam-O-Meter?

This sounds suspiciously like that Nigerian prince.

Hi dear friend.

Have a nice day!

WHL is pleased to inform you that we will launch an express service from Asia to the Eastern Mediterranean - AMX route from mid-September.

The new AMX service will offer the fastest sailing times from Shenzhen to the Alexandria, Izmit, and Istabul markets. This service, bypassing the Cape of Good Hope and sailing directly through Suez, will deliver shipping times to Alexandria, Izmit, and Istabul in just 22, 25, and 27 days, respectively

Club ONT Music

Nothing like a good duet to bring the Horde together. Complaints harmonize at higher volume.

Couldn't get better? You got it!

More Elton duets? The D's are here for the Horde.

Top 10ish Comments of the Week. Or thereabout...

Club ONT brought to you by: Eleventy please.

Enjoy Club ONT at your own risk. The contents of Club ONT have not been tested for safety on humans or animals and are not approved or sanctioned by any regulatory agency. Appropriate dosage of Club ONT varies by individual, so please monitor your own exposure. Too little Club ONT could result in sadness. On the other hand, if too much is never be enough, congratulations. You have reached Club ONT nirvana.

posted by Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

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