Saturday Night "Club ONT" August 2, 2025 [The 3 Ds]

Welcome to Club ONT! A collaboration of your Sunday through Wednesday ONT Crew - The Disco, The Doggo, and The Dino. The Summer of Fun.

Club ONT Token Economy - where tokens are earned. One token per witty comment.
No refunds for fish puns nor dad jokes. Who runs Club ONT? The one with the most tokens and the strongest bladder. It's your chance - even Auntie Entity had to wait in line.

Club ONT Restroom Tokens

They're real, and they're spectacular!

Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and asked his father when they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he'd make a deal with his son: "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car."

The boy thought for a moment and decided to accept the offer.

After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut."

The boy said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair...and every painting I see of Jesus shows him with long hair."

His father replied, "Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?"

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Bill Maher isn't a Club member, but he is kinda funny sometimes

HOLY SMOKES: Bill Maher may have just ENDED CNN’s Erin Burnett’s career over her “possibly white” comment about the NYC shooter—with one SAVAGE comedy bit.

Absolute masterclass.

This was a full-blown eulogy for woke media credibility.

“She did describe the gunman as ‘possibly… pic.twitter.com/QBNUcQ1QH2

— The Vigilant Fox 🦊 (@VigilantFox) August 2, 2025

Club ONT Endorsed Training

LOL 😂 pic.twitter.com/TT28LmvgNT

— Giga Based Dad (@GigaBasedDad) July 30, 2025

Drink of the Night

Inspired by life events. That one friend - you know the one. Always getting roasted, never gets rattled, ends the night with a drink in hand, and no bar tab. The name is Daulton Donnie.

The Donnie Blue Ballz

- Fill rocks glass with ice

Add

- 2 ounces of Tito's
- Top with Blue Bubbler
- Mock your friend

***

Bonus Donnie Drink. He gets thirsty like that.

The Rusty Donnie

- Fill rocks glass with ice

Add

- 2 ounces of Jameson Orange
- Top with Orange Water
- Mock your friend. Again.

Seems appropriate.

Club ONT Beverage Delivery Engineering

Of course you want one, everybody wants one. pic.twitter.com/Exafdw8pO9

— Electric Blue🧢🖌 (@Only9built) August 1, 2025

Club ONT Warrior Spirit

They seem to have confused masculinity with matinee.

In the time it took you to click this link, I bet you guessed who Streatham Wells School in southwest London chose, in an effort to "tackle misogyny," as an example of masculinity for their boys.

News from the Club ONT Sports Desk

There seems to be a new type of spectator engagement at WNBA games. Has anyone seen CBD lately?

Sophie Cunningham rips WNBA fans for throwing sex toy on court - again: "Going to hurt one of us"

During Friday's game between the Valkyries and Sky, what appeared to be a lime-green dildo was thrown onto the court during the third quarter.

This comes after a similar incident occurred just three days prior when an object was thrown on the court at the end of the fourth quarter of Tuesday's game between the Dream and the Valkyries. With less than a minute to play and the game tied 75-75, the sex toy fell from above and bounced on the free throw line before flying across the court.

Club ONT Food News

Hot dog spill shuts down I-83 in Pennsylvania commuters' wurst nightmare

A truckload of hot dogs spilled across a Pennsylvania interstate Friday after a crash that briefly clogged the heavily traveled artery in both directions.

Crews were stuck with a job they did not relish - rolling up the scattered tube steaks for disposal.

Four people required medical attention, Dauberman said, for injuries that police said were not life-threatening.

A front-end loader was used to scoop up the hot dogs and drop them into a dump truck.

In other food news... Evolutionary origins of the potato revealed - and a tomato was involved

A new analysis of 450 genomes from cultivated potatoes and 56 genomes of wild potato species has revealed that the potato lineage originated through natural interbreeding between a wild tomato plant and a potato-like species in South America about 9 million years ago.

This hybridization event led to the appearance of the nascent potato plant's tuber, an enlarged structure housing nutrients underground, according to the researchers, who also identified two crucial genes involved in tuber formation. Whereas in a tomato plant the edible part is the fruit, in the potato plant it is the tuber.

There currently are roughly 5,000 potato varieties. The potato is the world's third most important food crop, after rice and wheat, for human consumption, according to the Peru-based International Potato Center research organization. China is the world's leading potato producer.

Club ONT Music

Yesterday marked 10 years since the last ever Rush concert. Here is the final song from that night.

Here's the whole show

Not sure how many years ago this happened

(H/T - Mis Hum)

From one polarizing band to another - here is a clip from Jerry's last concert with The Grateful Dead

Here's the whole show - the last one with JG

Kenny Chesney with advice for us all - no matter who we like or dislike

[Disco says: Let's not argue of our musical tastes. Instead - let's argue over more meaningful matters!]

Top 10ish Comments of the Week. Or thereabout...

Club ONT brought to you by: Beavis.

🔥 pic.twitter.com/MQJ3XXyfkB

— The Vault (@TheVault1914) July 28, 2025

Club ONT regrets the events of last Saturday where a patron apparently handed the keys to their car and a crisp $20 bill to someone sitting on a bench near the front door. Neither the car nor the $20 bill have been seen since. Club ONT reminds you that Club ONT does not offer valet parking. The Moose out front should have told ya.

posted by Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

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