Saturday Night "Club ONT" July 26, 2025 [The 3 Ds]

Mystery Click carries extra importance tonight. Keep reading.

Welcome to Club ONT! A collaboration of your Sunday through Wednesday ONT Crew - The Disco, The Doggo, and The Dino. Congratulations, if you are here, you are officially part of the Club - sorry about that.

Clever comments earn restroom tokens. The same tokens can also be used for the jukebox so proceed with care. Club ONT management has instituted a strict policy based on the mystery click above. Anyone caught not having fun and not Wanging Chung will be removed from the premises immediately.

Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

A woman cheats on her husband after years of happy marriage.

Realizing her mistake, she starts praying to God. "Lord, I know what I did was wrong, but my marriage is the only thing that gives my life purpose and joy. Please, don't let my husband find out."

Suddenly she hears a voice from above: "Okay my child, it will be, but on one condition: years from now, you will die by drowning."

The woman hesitates at first but then responds, "Alright Lord, if it means he'll never find out, then so be it."

The next years of her life are happy and wonderful. She starts a successful business and lives in comfort with her husband, however, she continues to cheat on him many times, having forgotten her conversation with God.

One day she decides to book herself a vacation on a cruise ship. A few days into the voyage, a loud BOOM rocks the cruise ship, and it starts to sink. Suddenly remembering her agreement with God, she is struck with grief and begins frantically praying to God again:

"God, you're not gonna drown an entire cruise ship full of people because of me, right?"

She hears a familiar voice: "Are you kidding me? I've been working to gather all you cheaters here for years."

***

At a meeting, the corporate manager told a joke. Everyone on the team laughed except for one guy.

"Didn't you understand my joke?" the manager asked him.

"Oh, I understood it, but I resigned yesterday."

Club ONT Life Decision Advice Department

Do not do this.

This may or may not be a true story. At some point, nobody really cares because it is just plausible enough that it could be true.

Drink of the Night

Important note
You man consume as many of these as you like here in the Club, but any real life enactment of the drink's title MUST be performed outside of Club property. Please understand that Club property includes the parking lot. Thank you for understanding.

Club Endorsed Parenting

Someone please tell us that you have done this with your child.

Club ONT Sports Coverage

The 2025 event was held last weekend, but the 2023 video coverage is more fun.

Club ONT Entertainment Trivia

This is all true:

The actor's name is Sorrell Booke. He was also valedictorian of his high school class and reportedly shared the stage with Paul Newman at Yale. He appeared in a number of film and television shows and did voice roles on many occasions. Name a 1970s television show and he likely made an appearance.

He wore padding for the Boss Hogg role to appear more girthy. He copied his character's southern accent from U.S. senators Sam Ervin and Strom Thurmond.

Two voice roles of note were animated features: "Scooby-Doo Meets the Boo Brothers" (1987) as Sheriff Rufus Buzby / T.J. Buzby and "Yogi and the Invasion of the Space Bears" (1988) as Mountain Bear. Why are they of note? They couldn't be more different than Boss Hogg.

Club ONT Wall of Shame

Florida man arrested for allegedly driving lawn mower drunk down busy highway

The Florida Highway Patrol stated that the trooper immediately observed signs of impairment in Spain, including pinpoint pupils, flushed skin, a dry mouth, and irritation on the inside of his nose.

The alleged drunk driver also kept sniffling, spitting and clearing his throat while talking with the officer.

The trooper then attempted to give him a field sobriety test multiple times, but Spain wasn't having it and became uncooperative after the third attempt.

Club ONT Raises One In Honor of The Hulkster

Want more Hulkster? Check out his debut bout in the (then-called) WWF

Rest in peace, brother!

Club ONT Music

Courtesy of Mac Sabbath:

Top 10ish Comments of the Week. Or thereabout...

Club ONT brought to you by washing hands, not money.

Club ONT note: Training camp for the Club ONT intramural football team is underway but nobody is wearing pads yet. If you would like to join, give your name and contact information to the bar tender. Saying you need to "bulk up" for Club ONT football is not an acceptable excuse for being a pig and eating all the bar snacks.

posted by Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

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