Food Thread: New Jersey Scallops? Are You Mad?

Tasty! And easy to open. And for me, that is an important point, because while I understand how to do it, and I am fairly good at it, there is always the risk of plunging the oyster knife into one's palm while opening a particularly recalcitrant oyster. Some varieties have nicely exposed hinges which makes opening them a breeze. These were great! But some varieties hide the hinge behind a curve in the shell or some other subterfuge, and they can be a dangerous thing indeed. As the apex predator of the edible mollusk world, oysters can be tough to handle.

And notice there are only 11 oysters on that plate? Yup, the twelfth was a bit too easy to open, no doubt planning a sneak attack of some nasty virus or bacteria. But I was too quick for him!

The French grade their oysters by size, from 5 to 0 (by weight, beginning at 30g and ending above 150g!). I have never seen a 0, and the 2s and 3s are just perfect, so I won't look hard for some monstrous oyster the size of a dinner plate. They may be a bit tough to swallow.

France consumes most of its oyster production, which tells me...something. I have no idea what. Prices are lower in the stores compared to the United States, but just as painful in Parisian restaurants. Along the coast in the oyster-growing regions is a different and happy paradigm; great oysters for not much at all!

Yes, I will be spending time on the coast.

Mashed potatoes. How special can they be? Pretty damned special! These came as an accompaniment to my main course of "Ris de Veau aux Morilles," which is sweetbreads in a cream sauce with morels. That was...fine. The sweetbreads were a bit overdone, which changes their wonderful texture to something more like overcooked liver. But the cream sauce and morels were good, and went wonderfully with those magnificent potatoes! Buttery and creamy and very potato-tasting, so pretty much perfect.

And right across the street is "Vibrio Shellfish!"

I have absolutely no clue what the hell that is! And not just the "flavour of undergrowth." What exactly is a "snaky" scallop?

And the roe came through with flying colors. But (of course there is a but) the scallops just weren't as sweet and delicious as my local ones. Yes, I am spoiled, because shockingly, New Jersey has a small and incredible scallop industry. They are superb, maybe the best I have ever eaten except for those Bay Scallops from Massachusetts a few years ago that were ethereal, even if they were wearing little Red Sox caps.

They are everywhere! We can safely ignore the French conceit that every little bakery (boulangerie) makes fantastic baguettes, because even in my neighborhood there are thoroughly pedestrian examples. But there are excellent places, and at least one that makes a spectacular version.

Perhaps I am an outlier, and making baguettes is really pretty easy once one gets the hang of it, but my experience has been one of mostly failure. Edible, but boring. And what is most frustrating is my experience with sourdough boules, which has been a wonderful learning curve culminating in some damned good bread! It's just not that hard, no matter what the lunatics on the internet say.

So why are baguettes different? It's not the dough. That's the easy part. Recipes are recipes are recipes. It's the manipulation of the dough, which with practice is easy for a boule, but is more difficult for a baguette. Just think of a blob of dough that needs to be stretched and folded and rolled into just the right length and thickness, allowed to rise (twice!), then transferred to a hot oven (with steam) without it flopping around like a flaccid...um...never mind.

Anyway, if anyone in the vast readership of this Food Thread has been successful, I don't want to hear about it. Because I hate you.

However, Weasel has a special air fryer that is powered by a small nuclear reactor, because his two-minute rule requires a faster cook.

Who are those poor deluded souls We know who shake their Manhattans! These are the same people who drink fine bourbon with coke, and probably shake red wine with ice too.

$1,200 for a bottle of bourbon is just stupid, insulting, and a ghastly affront to most people's palates and wallets. I think the sweet spot is $40-$60 for excellent and interesting bottles, and bumping that to $100 gets you an incremental improvement in quality, but nothing mind-blowing. More than that and I think you are paying for hype and rarity, which may look good in your liquor cabinet, but doesn't translate to more quality in the bottle.

The problem...or the solution...is to buy lots of bourbon, take tasting notes, and eventually arrive at your favorites! It should take forty of fifty years, but it is worth it!

posted by CBD at 04:00 PM

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