Saturday Night "Club ONT" March 22, 2025 [The 3 D's]

Welcome to Club ONT! A collaboration of your Sunday through Wednesday ONT Crew - The Disco, The Doggo, and The Dino. You could just stay outside and be shy, but it is Beer Pong and Open Mic Night at the Club. Wiggle on in.

Saturday Night Jokes

A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying from copies, not the original manuscripts. So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there were an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies.

The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son." So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original.

Hours go by and nobody sees him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears sobbing coming from the back of the cellar, and finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books crying. He asks the old monk what's wrong, and in a choked voice came the reply..."The word is celebrate."

***

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way.
The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father."
The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that." The priest looked up from his book and answered, "I am the Father of many."

The boy said, "My Dad has four boys, four girls, and two grandchildren. He doesn't wear his collar that way."
The priest, getting impatient, said, "I am the Father of hundreds." Then he went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then he leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar."

[doggo says: Heater hanging out of his mouth at the end - like your coolest uncle.]

Enough to make you want to buy an old ford! 😂🤣👇🏻 pic.twitter.com/tS5crykjXJ

— Johnny Midnight ⚡️ (@its_The_Dr) March 16, 2025

The club endorses Wiffle Ball season. Ghost runners, rules made up on the fly, and throwing the ball at the runner to get them out (neck down). Unless it's your older brother. Whoops, my bad, bro.

Club ONT music

Drink of the Night

The (Moscow) Mule

What is a Moscow Mule?

1 ½ fluid ounces vodka
½ fluid ounce lime juice
ice cubes
½ cup ginger beer
1 lime wedge for garnish

Several mule variations can be found here.

Do you like Moscow Mules? Then get ready to try a plethora of Moscow Mule variations! Although it was created in the 1940s, this timeless cocktail is still in vogue. Why? Maybe it's the zesty flavour. Maybe, because it only requires three ingredients and three minutes to prepare. Or perhaps it's due to those incredibly awesome copper mugs. In any case, these days, Mules are the showstoppers of cocktail party menus!

You're going to be taken on quite the journey if you had no idea that any of these Mule cocktails existed. Additionally, identifying a Mule is not too difficult. It's probably a Mule cocktail if it has ginger beer mixed with a base spirit. Moreover, making Mules doesn't require expensive copper mugs! Even though they look fantastic and extend the cooling effect of the cocktail, standard ball glasses will suffice.

These variations replace vodka with a different spirit:

Kentucky Mule - bourbon
London Mule - gin
Dark ‘n Stormy - dark rum
Mexican Mule - tequila
Mezcal Mule - [duh!]

There's a few more variations at the link.

[Disco says: Meh. Despite all of those versions, the mule is just a half-ass drink.]

Homer likes mules

Live entertainment in Club ONT (with a theme):

Club ONT Mascot News

Straight outta New Zealand.

All hail King Blobfish!

The annual Fish of the Year 2025 competition came to a dramatic close yesterday, with deep sea rivals orange roughy and blobfish campaigning hard right up to the last minute. The blobfish emerged victorious over orange roughy by nearly 300 votes.

Final results for those of you scoring at home (or even for those who are alone):
1. Blobfish - 1286 votes
2. Orange roughy - 1009 votes
3. Longfin eel / Tuna - 646 votes
4. Whale shark - 596 votes
5. Big-bellied seahorse / Manaia - 386 votes
6. Great white shark / Mangō taniwha - 344 votes
7. Lamprey / Piharau - 312 votes
8. Spine-tailed devil ray / Whai rahi - 284 votes
9. Basking shark / Reremai - 280 votes
10. Blue cod / Rāwaru - 260 votes

It is an inspiring recovery story. The Blobfish was voted the world's ugliest animal in 2013.

[Disco says: Fish pun fodder for the Horde? Really? That's like leaving an open container of catnip at a kitteh daycare center.]

No love for this fish?

Top 10ish comments. Or thereabout...

Top 10 commenters:
1 [401 comments] 'whig' [56.95 posts/day]
2 [395 comments] 'TheJamesMadison, leading the proletariat with Eisenstein'
3 [379 comments] '...'
4 [369 comments] 'Christopher R Taylor'
5 [355 comments] 'Ciampino - flying chicken Kiev'
6 [336 comments] 'Bulg'
7 [336 comments] 'Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ '
8 [333 comments] 'Deplorable Jay Guevara'
9 [324 comments] 'I used to have a different nic'
10 [266 comments] 'Blonde Morticia'

Top 10 sockpuppeteers:
1 [123 names] 'Miklos O'Miklos' [17.47 unique names/day]
2 [116 names] 'Up With People'
3 [106 names] 'Quarter Twenty '
4 [76 names] 'Most people '
5 [72 names] 'Gonna infect yourself?'
6 [52 names] 'Ciampino - flying chicken Kiev'
7 [47 names] 'I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper'
8 [47 names] 'Big Homo, democrats and Sheryl Crow'
9 [43 names] 'Duncanthrax'
10 [42 names] 'Count de Monet'

Tonight at Club ONT brought to you by questionable gift shop stocking decisions:

Participation in Club ONT is calibrated for 60 watts. Caution is advised if you attempt to absorb Club ONT at 75 or 100 watts. Club ONT is best seen with more limited light. In fact, some would say that the less you can see Club ONT, the better it looks. Complaints may be submitted to the guy in the corner wearing sunglasses with a cane and dog.

posted by Open Blogger at 09:50 PM

| Access Comments