The Morning Rant: Minimalist Edition

Great! Let's make Greenland a protectorate or a colony or a territory or whatever legal definition suits us. It's too big to tip over, and it would be fun to poke the EU in the eye and take a chunk of one of their pseudo-countries. They can't do much about it, except make squawking noises and threaten us with stern letters and mean editorials. And it certainly sends a message to the world (read: China and Russia) that once again we are going to take seriously the defense of our borders and our air and sea lanes.

Except... what the hell do we get out of Greenland that we can't get out of good old America? Strategically important minerals? Oil? A shrimp and cod fishery? An economy that requires huge subsidies? A rabid environmentalist population?

A shift in our natural resources policy will allow us to mine our own rare earth and other strategic materials. We have plenty of oil. We also have plenty of shrimp and cod. And... sadly... we have the inner cities that require immensely expensive federal and state subsidies. And as for loony environmentalists? We have California and Oregon and Vermont and...

So what does Greenland really have to offer?

Thule Air Base. Or correctly: PITUFFIK SPACE BASE!

All the other stuff is silly and unimportant in the geopolitical game we are playing. We don't need to annex Greenland, which unfortunately comes with 56,000 Greenlanders, who really, really, really don't want to join America. Something like 85% expressed that opinion.

What we need to do is obtain an ironclad agreement, in perpetuity, for unimpeded access to Greenland for military use. Denmark can continue to subsidize the island, Greenlanders can puff out their chests and proclaim their sort-of independence, and we get a vital air base that we can use to protect the North Atlantic and the Arctic from the depredations of our geopolitical rivals. We can throw in some sort of "Most Favored Nation" status for mining and oil extraction, but Greenland is a nasty place to do that sort of stuff, so maybe just negotiate the option and worry about it when we really need it.

Greenland's Opposition Party Wins Election Amid Trump's Push for Control of Territory

“We don’t want to be Americans, nor Danes; We are Kalaallit,” he said in a March 5 Facebook post, referring to the Inuit people in Greenland who form the island’s majority population. “The Americans and their leader must understand that. We are not for sale and cannot simply be taken. Our future will be decided by us in Greenland.”

A poll of Greenlanders in January found that 56 percent of Greenlanders would vote for independence, with 28 percent opposing it and 17 percent being unsure. The same poll found that 85 percent of respondents opposed joining the United States.

It is absolutely marvelous to see a muscular and unapologetic America emerge on the world stage. Europe has no idea what to do, China and Russia are trying to figure out what the hell is going on, and the Americantraitors left is having a collective stroke over the president's actions.

Am I worried about war with Greenland and Denmark? No. We aren't going to send the Marines to take an ice covered island that we can probably buy from Denmark for less than the cost of one amphibious assault ship's trip to Qequertarsauq or Ujarasussuk. President Trump will make a deal that is beneficial to both America and Greenland. Everybody will eventually calm down, and Bostonians and Portlanders won't have to live in fear of a massive counter-attack of angry Greenlanders in their fishing boats, throwing rotten cod at them as they have cocktails on the harbor.

Although I really do like that image!

[Crossposted at CutJibNewsletter and X]

posted by CBD at 11:00 AM

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