Finger Lickin' Good ONT

Welcome to the Thursday ONT. I have a...strange urge to go into this building.

BOLO

Haliey Welch Disappears

Welch became an online sensation after she was quizzed on her sex life by YouTubers Tim & Dee TV. When asked what makes a "man go crazy" in bed, she replied: "You gotta give 'em that hawk tuah and spit on that thang." She has since transformed her newfound fame into a successful merchandise line and the Talk Tuah podcast, which has featured notable guests like entrepreneur Mark Cuban and Wiz Khalifa.
For the last couple of months, Welch has been busy building her empire, which has included launching her $HAWK coin on December 4. She has since gone radio silent after she received extensive backlash when her meme coin crashed, with its value plunging by $440 million in just 20 minutes. This led to allegations of insider trading and rug-pulling. In the cryptocurrency world, rug-pulling is when developers abandon a project after raising assets, leaving people with worthless tokens.

I realize that the original incident was crude and rude, but I kinda admire how she leaned into it. It's not everyone who recognizes that their 15 minutes of fame are only gong to be 15 minutes and strikes while the iron is hot. She launched a podcast, a line of clothing and has even a cryptocoin. The later spiked insanely and then crashed, since that Haliey has gone silent on all her social media. My guess is that she took the time to tawk tuah lawyer who advised her to shut up, but Twitter is abuzz with speculation that she took her own life. It'd be a real shame if she put a Glawk tuah her head, but that's how these things go sometimes.

Turtles All The Way Down

Mitch McConnell Is The Personification Of America In Decline

“The administration will face calls from within the Republican Party to give up on American primacy,” McConnell added. “It must reject them. To pretend that the United States can focus on just one threat at a time, that its credibility is divisible, or that it can afford to shrug off faraway chaos as irrelevant is to ignore its global interests and its adversaries’ global designs.” McConnell, however, has been in the Senate for nearly 40 years and has overseen the wholesale liquidation of America’s domestic fortitude and power abroad. As The Federalist CEO Sean Davis pointed out, “McConnell has overseen the destruction of America’s manufacturing base, the destruction of our military to the point we haven’t [won] a war since 1991, the 20x increase in the federal debt, the rise of China in to a nuclear and economic superpower, and the leftist takeover of every major institution in America.”

And to all the “but muh judges” McConnell defenders I reply, “But muh country”.

A Play In 3 Acts

Them's Fightin' Words Down Here In Texas

Buc-ee's Is The Sickness At The Heart Of America

“Come inside,” beckons the Buc. Whatever you desire, this miniature metroplex can conjure. No man is an island, and no road trip can go by without a pit stop for sugary drinkies, a cone of candied nuts, or a glob of molasses-sweet pig meat on a bun. Grab yourself some Beaver Nuggets, whatever the fuck that is. Don’t worry, it’s delicious. Never you mind what might be inside. Would you like a machete or a fish finder? Perhaps a t-shirt of your favorite sports team? A meat smoker? This country is a seriously bizarre place to live, and Buc-ee’s is a microcosm of our American existence at present. This combination gas station-grocery store-way of life is a mirror we have erected to show us ourselves. It’s the highway equivalent of junk food. It almost certainly shouldn’t exist, and we are worse as a culture for having had it, but goddamn does it flip the right switches in our collective brain. It is truly junk that shouldn’t be great, but the rot at the core of America is what makes us who we are.

And then he says that he loves the place, so maybe it's all tongue in cheek. The subtitle of the article is “The gas guzzling junk food store is the epitome of American hubristic excess” Personally, I agree with Ralph Waldo Emerson. “If a man has good corn or wood, or boards, or pigs, to sell, or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles or church organs, than anybody else, you will find a broad hard-beaten road to his house, though it be in the woods.”. The path to Buc-ee's is an 8 lane superhighway, and Goddamn if that isn't the epitome of American entrepreneurial SUCCESS.

Meanwhile, Up In The Hat

Canada now has higher property and violent crime rates than the US, and it’s rising

According to the study, which used Federal Bureau of Investigation and Bureau of Justice statistics and Canadian reported crime data, both countries showed a “dramatic” long-term decline in property and violent crime rates after the 1990s till 2014. After 2014, however, Canada began to see a rise in crime rates, reversing progress. The study found that from 2014 to 2022 when the latest crime statistics were available, the violent crime rate, such as murder, robbery, and assault with a weapon, in Canada increased by 43.8% to 434.1 violent crimes per 100,000 people.  This means that Canada now has a 14% higher population-adjusted violent crime rate than the U.S., which saw a violent crime increase of 5.3% over the same period, with 380.7 crimes per 100,000 people. While America’s property crime rate, including burglary, theft, and motor vehicle theft, decreased by 24.1% between 2014 and 2024, with 1954.4 crimes per 100,000 people, Canada’s property crime rate increased by 7%, with 2491 crimes per the same metric.

That Justin Castreau sure has been a disaster. I'm excited to see what Pierre Poilievre can do.

100% This

It Would Be Irresponsible of Israel NOT to Attack Iran’s Nuclear Sites

Going nuclear has its risks, as well — including international economic sanctions — but there are certainly some elements of the Iranian leadership who understand that the regime’s losses in the war it started could encourage its domestic opponents to rise up against it. Therefore there is a very real danger that Iran will rush to develop a nuclear weapon — and there is a real opportunity to prevent it from doing so, one that may not return soon if the regime can rebuild its defenses and its terror proxies. Israel, and the world, would regret missing this opportunity. Biden told Israel not to attack Iran’s nuclear sites, but he is on the way out. Trump has said Israel should attack, but wants calm by the time he takes office. It’s now or never.

I hope Israel hammers them.

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by chicken:

That man knows his chicken!

posted by WeirdDave at 10:00 PM

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