Everyone Loves The ONT

Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps, cross-eyed mosquitoes and bow legged ants. I come before you to stand behind you to tell you something I know nothing about. Admission is free, so pay at the door, pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

One bright day in the middle of the night, two dead boys arose to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew swords and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise and came to kill those two dead boys. If you do not believe this lie is true, ask the blind man – he saw it too.

Good News, For Now

BREAKING: Longshoremen union strike is OVER

The Longshoremen union strike is now over after a tentative agreement was made on wages.

They could be striking again in January since they’ve only extended their current contract until mid January:

I was hoping this would go on a little longer since it would have likely helped Trump win, with prices going up and supply going down. That’s the last thing Kamala would have wanted ahead of the election. And if I had to guess, that probably factored in on this to some small degree.

Now richy rich can go back to his ritzy home and wait to shake them down again in a few months.

If Trump wins and they do strike, he should do like Reagan did with the ATC union. The average LS makes 200k/year and they just turned down a 50% pay increase. F 'em.

Shitsburgh

‘Smells Like P*ss’: Anonymous NFL Player Absolutely Obliterates Steelers’ Acrisure Stadium In Pol

The Athletic conducted a poll that shows multiple NFL players complaining about Pittsburgh and explaining why they don’t like visiting there.

“I would say Pittsburgh, because it smells like piss in their locker room,” stated one player, anonymously, in the poll.

“Even though it’s my vibe: tough. It’s just always gray and sh*tty weather there,” said another unnamed player.

HeeHee. Pissburgh.

Gay!

Vance’s Baby Blues May Have Just Flipped The Left’s Most Loyal Demo

As a group, gay people may overwhelmingly hate Donald Trump. But they couldn’t help but fall in love with JD Vance on the debate stage Tuesday night. In the words of Gay America, he came out looking snatched. 

Now, these poll numbers might be made up, but they’re making fun of a very real phenomenon: Gay Twitter absolutely lost their minds for Vance last night. Some said he’d make a “hot AF VP” while others said he’s “[g]iving the gays everything we want.” Some speculated the “pink tie” was sending a signal, wink wink. What that signal is, I can’t share here — but the consensus was overwhelmingly suggestive. As noted conservative activist (and gay man) Andy Ngo noted, “I was not expecting gay X responses to the VP debate to be so XXX.”

Maybe they're hoping he'll pole the electorate.

End Of An Era

RIP Schwan's Guy: Mourning An American Frozen Food Icon

Over the years, due to changing consumer habits, Schwan's iconic yellow trucks seemed to become less visible. But there's online evidence showing that deliveries are still very active in some parts of the U.S. In 2019, Schwan's Company, but not the home delivery business, was acquired by CJ Foods. Schwan's Home Delivery was later rebranded as Yelloh in 2023. As for why Yelloh is closing, a press release cited economic and market forces and supply chain issues caused by the pandemic. Schwan's Company, however, is still in business and supplies grocery stores and other food-service outlets.

“These challenges, combined with changing consumer lifestyles and competitive pressures that have been building for over 20 years, made success very difficult," said board member Michael Ziebell, who has been at the company since the 1990s. "Digital shopping has replaced the personal, at-the-door customer interaction that was the hallmark of the company."

While I haven't eaten a Schwan's frozen food item in years, I feel a sadness. The yellow Schwan's truck was an exciting part of Midwestern suburban life and almost as thrilling as an actual ice cream truck. Despite our thirst for nostalgia and anything circa 2000, our digital reality, sadly, doesn't have room for the Schwan's guy.

Some of their offerings have changed over the years, but many are still available now, if you want to stock up. If you're looking to purchase products via a Schwan's Yelloh truck, November 8 will be the last day.

Did you have Schwan's where you grew up?

Remember

Jimmy Carter's family rolled him out for a press event on his 100th birthday, saying he was “excited to vote for Kamala Harris” It was pretty disgusting, but remember what this asshole wrought.

US had extensive contact with Ayatollah Khomeini before Iran revolution

“The documents clearly show that Khomeini was less heroic, and far craftier, behind the scenes,” Fattahi said. “He quietly courted the US government, making all kinds of promises about the future of core US interests in Iran.”

“The documents are significant because they show Khomeini’s legacy is complicated, as it involves the ayatollah courting two US presidents behind the scenes. They illustrate a pattern of behaviour – that Khomeini at critical moments during his long struggle for an Islamic republic, secretly engaged what he would call ‘the Great Satan’.”

We're still dealing with the bloody fallout from Carter abandoning the Shah almost 50 years later.

The Evil That Men Do

Diddy’s debauched life of threesomes and unspeakable violence exposed in gory tell-all book from Kim Porter, the dead mother of his sons

Lots of perverted details at the link if you want to go look. I'm not going to quote them.

Walz Of Shame

Tim Walz Loses His Bubble Wrap

J. D. Vance fans, last night your man won his own personal Super Bowl. Tim Walz fans, your guy may not be ready for the major leagues. The good news for the Minnesota governor is that there’s not a single smudge on any of his timepieces, and he can clearly see what time it is . . . because Vance absolutely cleaned his clock.

Heh.

Reading Is Fun

The Elite College Students Who Can’t Read Books

Nicholas Dames has taught Literature Humanities, Columbia University’s required great-books course, since 1998. He loves the job, but it has changed. Over the past decade, students have become overwhelmed by the reading. College kids have never read everything they’re assigned, of course, but this feels different. Dames’s students now seem bewildered by the thought of finishing multiple books a semester. His colleagues have noticed the same problem. Many students no longer arrive at college—even at highly selective, elite colleges—prepared to read books.

This development puzzled Dames until one day during the fall 2022 semester, when a first-year student came to his office hours to share how challenging she had found the early assignments. Lit Hum often requires students to read a book, sometimes a very long and dense one, in just a week or two. But the student told Dames that, at her public high school, she had never been required to read an entire book. She had been assigned excerpts, poetry, and news articles, but not a single book cover to cover.

“My jaw dropped,” Dames told me. The anecdote helped explain the change he was seeing in his students: It’s not that they don’t want to do the reading. It’s that they don’t know how. Middle and high schools have stopped asking them to.

Maybe they should go back to Fun With Dick And Jane. Seriously though, I can't get my 19 YO son to read a book for anything. He just has no interest. Fortunately he's in trade school so it doesn't matter as much, but I think it's very sad that he will never get everything I've gotten from reading over the years.

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by inviting Doug Emhoff to your party:

posted by WeirdDave at 10:00 PM

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