Wednesday Overnight Open Thread (7/3/24)

Almighty God, Who has given us this good land for our heritage; We humbly beseech Thee that we may always prove ourselves a people mindful of Thy favor and glad to do Thy will. Bless our land with honorable ministry, sound learning, and pure manners. Save us from violence, discord, and confusion, from pride and arrogance, and from every evil way. Defend our liberties, and fashion into one united people, the multitude brought hither out of many kindreds and tongues. Endow with Thy spirit of wisdom those whom in Thy name we entrust the authority of government, that there may be justice and peace at home, and that through obedience to Thy law, we may show forth Thy praise among the nations of the earth. In time of prosperity fill our hearts with thankfulness, and in the day of trouble, suffer not our trust in Thee to fail; all of which we ask through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Sore loser laws? It's a left coast issue I guess.

July 2 (UPI) -- A primary election in Oregon was resolved with a coin flip under state law -- but the winner of the flip was ineligible to run.

The 8th House District in Eugene, which skews heavily Democratic, had no Republicans on the primary ballot last week, so the race came down to write-in votes.

Knock, knock on Heaven's door, without permits and licenses.

'Anything but neighborly': Without permit, church charges ahead with religious festival

MOON TOWNSHIP, Pa. —
As the music emanating from Coraopolis Heights Road gets louder, so does the uproar.

"What has happened with this group is anything but neighborly," said Kevin Rooney, one of dozens of Moon Township residents who attended a township supervisors' meeting Monday.

Rooney and others took turns during the meeting's public comment period to complain about the loud noise at 1442 Coraopolis Heights Road, where a church is holding a weeklong religious festival.

Whatever happened to love thy neighbor as you love yourself?

Why ruin a good walk when you can duke it out?

Altercation between 'numerous' golfers on B.C. course broken up by RCMP

There goes the theory Canadians are so nice.

There are three things that cannot be easily hidden: The Sun, the Moon, and the Truth.

The following are 2 Simple Truths, 6 Rules of Life, and 3 Bonus Rules:

*SIMPLE TRUTH 1:*Lovers help each other undress before sex. After sex, they always dress on their own.

Moral of the story -- In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

*SIMPLE TRUTH 2:*When a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, "Congratulations." But none go up to the man, touch his penis and say, "Good Job."

Moral of the story -- Hard work is rarely appreciated.

*SIX RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:*

1. Money can't buy happiness - but it's far more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy - but* remember the asshole's name*.

3. If you help someone when they're in trouble - they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

4. Alcohol does not solve any problems - but then, neither does milk.

*5*. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

6. No matter how rich you are, no matter how generous you are, no matter how good you look. The number of people who attend your funeral will depend on the weather, *unless there's an open bar.*

*BONUS RULES:*

1. Condoms do not guarantee safe sex! A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.

2. I think all politicians should wear uniforms. You know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors.

3. Also, all politicians should serve only two terms -- one in office and one in prison.

*This was a public service announcement**.*

Boo-Boo has some 'splaing to Yogi.

Bear tranquilized, captured after unusual sighting in Chatsworth

CHATSWORTH, LOS ANGELES (KABC) -- A bear that was spotted roaming the Los Angeles neighborhood of Chatsworth was tranquilized and captured after it spent the night in an area that doesn't often experience such sightings.

The collared and tagged bear was first seen Monday night in an industrial area near De Soto Avenue and Lassen Street. Los Angeles police officers responded to the area and watched the bear as it meandered between industrial buildings and parking lots, but they eventually left the animal to keep wandering.

By Tuesday morning, the bear was seen nestled high up in a tree on nearby Independence Avenue.

Yes the USA has its problems. However, we still remain the city shining on a hill. Tonight's Feel Good Story of The Day.

THORNTON, Ill. - There’s a new roof going up on a house in south suburban Thornton.

Normally, that’s not big news. But under this new roof, a remarkable story played out involving a military veteran with an ill granddaughter who got a helping hand from a local contractor.

The old "I identify as a mother" routine did not work. Genius Award Winner.

El Paso police scrambled when a woman called 911 on Sunday claiming her small child was inside a vehicle that was reportedly stolen. Police officials said it turned out the child did not exist.

Stacie Dashay Marie Smith, 19, of East El Paso, was arrested on a charge of making a false report or alarm following an investigation by detectives with the Crimes Against Persons Unit, which handles kidnappings along with other major crimes.

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Adaptation.

Notice: Posted with permission by the Ace Media Empire & AceCorp, LLC. The use of fireworks is neither encouraged or discouraged. The prestigious law firm of Dewey, Cheatem & Howe, S.C. has their own thoughts and a 33% contingency fee plan.

Happy Independence Day to you folks. Be safe out there tomorrow with the fireworks and all the other things associated with this fantastic holiday. Happy birthday USA.

posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 10:01 PM

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