Wednesday Overnight Open Thread (12/27/23)

Quote I

“Trying to fill every hole in every tooth in her mouth in one visit is not only the antithesis of what was indicated, it is not humanely possible to achieve in an effective or constructive manner.” Dr. Avrum Goldstein

In high school a wayward beaver meant something completely different.

‘Bizarre’ Christmas call leads cops to ‘huge’ beaver inside Tennessee hospital, cops say

A hospital received a Christmas morning surprise in the form of a wayward beaver, Tennessee police said.

The “huge” beaver was found hiding under a piano at the St. Francis Hospital lounge when officers found it, the Bartlett Police Department said in a news release.

The animal was “probably looking to nom nom a Christmas tree,” police said.

When officer Robb Read found the animal shortly before 7 a.m. at the hospital, he reached out and grabbed it, then put it in a large black cart, according to police.

I probably should have saved for a Saturday ONT. But, I needed a Genius Award Winner. Instead I present you: Multiple Genius Award Winners

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?

Happy Holidays to one and all. It's time to gather 'round the fire with your loved ones for our nation's oldest and finest tradition: reading about people that jammed things in their holes and couldn't get them out without medical intervention.

All reports are taken from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's database of emergency room visits, all descriptions are verbatim, and almost all patients made some regrettable decisions.

As always, objects are sorted by orifice, working south:

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Family Trips & A Second Mystery Click

Notice: Posted with permission by the Ace Media Empire & AceCorp, LLC. This particular ONT was composed in a facility that expressly forbids fun. It is what it is.

posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 09:51 PM

| Access Comments