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« Saturday Evening Movie Thread 10/28/2023 [TheJamesMadison] | Main | Daily Tech News 29 October 2023 »
October 28, 2023

Saturday Overnight Open Thread (10/28/23)

1028230nt.jpg


***

The Saturday Night Joke

Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Southerner?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, a terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams "Allah ho akhbar!", raises the knife, and charges at you...

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 .45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?

THINK CAREFULLY AND
THEN SCROLL DOWN:


Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

What is a Kimber 1911.45 ACP?

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.

Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

This is all so confusing!

............ .......... ........ ..... ......... ....... ........ ........ .

Republican's Answer:

BANG!


............ ....... ...... ........ ......... ........ .......... ....

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click..... (Sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG!BANG!
Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!'
'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!

Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

Wife: You are not taking that to the Taxidermist!


Don't care for the opener? Check out below the fold..............


***


Not enough humor?

Moar Humor



***

Salty language, so that's NSFW. But pretty dang funny..............



***


You have time for a Halloween road trip. The Ultimate Halloween Road Trip Through New Mexico, America’s Spookiest State - From extraterrestrials to headless horsemen

west shootouts and alien conspiracy theories. But there’s only one state that ticks all the boxes, and that’s the undoubtedly haunted New Mexico. Home to staggering wilderness, vibrant artist communities and some of the best food in the Southwest, there’s much to love about the Land of Enchantment — but there’s also plenty of morbid lore to keep you up at night, fretting about apparitions and alien abductions.

As one of the largest, and least densely populated states in the nation, there’s lots of room for solitude in New Mexico’s vast desert landscape, which can be either serene or terrifying, depending how you look at it — especially when some of that vastness is filled with spirits, extra terrestrials and enough bats to black out the sky. From haunted happenings in some of the state’s oldest towns to the creepiest national park in the country and a surprising amount of beheadings, this is the ultimate Halloween road trip through endearingly spooky New Mexico

I'll have to ask the Mid-Kid if New Mexico is scary.


***

***

A fun commercial from yesteryear.........


***


Taxidermy Gone Wrong: What Happens When Taxidermists Fail

There are all kinds of jobs where nobody notices your mistakes. You can’t say the same thing about taxidermists. It’s painfully obvious when the “taxidermy gone wrong” situation strikes. Apparently people find taxidermy failures so hilarious that there’s even a Crap Taxidermy book and Taxidermy Fails calendar both of which you can order on Amazon. P.S. You’re a terrible person, if you find this funny.


Are you really?


***

The ONT Musical Interlude & Winter Weather Advisory Emporium


You be the judge. Are these the worst classic rock songs?

&&&



***

How does one come up with an offer of $440.00 for the following: Genius Award.

OCTOBER 26--A Washington man sought to hire a prostitute for himself and his miniature horse, according to police who charged him with animal cruelty and patronizing a prostitute.

Jad Shipman, 48, was arrested last week following a vice probe involving TNABoard, an online site advertising sex/escort services. Shipman resides in Longview, a city 40 miles north of Vancouver.

As alleged in a probable cause affidavit, Shipman--using the screen name “TheMalamute”--offered to pay $440 to a forum user named “Diane” to “have sexual contact with him and his miniature horse.” Shipman also used an email address containing the phrase “hotmare,” according to a police report.

“Diane” provided cops with copies of explicit messages sent to her by Shipman, who allegedly wrote that he wanted to “watch a gal eat out the miniature horse that I have while sitting on my male member.”

While trying to entice a potential paid companion, Shipman acknowledged the difficulty in arranging such a threesome: “Last two gals I asked said it was noticeably outside their comfort zone,” he wrote, as first reported by Matt Esnayra in The Daily News.


***

***

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by a Fire Department's Christmas Wish List.

1028brot.jpg

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