First World Problems...

I would be shocked if the total weight of all of the plastic straws made across the world were more than a rounding error of the total weight of plastic manufactured. The maniacal fixation on plastic straws, created by some idiot middle-school retard who misread some data, took off around the world like a shot, proving Mark Twain's admonition* that "A lie is halfway round the world before the truth has got its boots on." Even granting that plastic pollution is an existential problem for the aquatic life of the world's oceans, rather than a manageable issue for the developing and third world countries that are responsible for the vast majority of the plastics dumped in our oceans (the West is far better at dealing with its garbage), why do the do-gooders (read: virtue-signaling twats) have to replace plastic straws with paper straws that are coated and can't be easily recycled and fall apart halfway through my otherwise excellent G&T!

From my perspective, that paper straw is much more of an affront to the natural order of things than the theoretical possibility that my straw will end up in the stomach of a lesser pink finned snarkfish.

G&Ts are sacred, and the world needs to show them the appropriate amount of deference and respect!

*He probably wasn't the originator of the aphorism, but I like Twain, so he gets credit today!

posted by CBD at 02:00 PM

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