Bud Light Finally Fires the Two Executives Most Responsible for Transvertising Debacle
Except, No They Didn't. They Just Want Conservatives to Think That.

They're still avoiding using the word "fire."

But they want conservatives to know the executives are gone, so they're leaking it to the Daily Caller.

But they're also officially denying that the two have been fired, offering a statement that they two remain on voluntary leave of absence.

So in other words: They're not fired. They just want conservative outlets to claim they're fired, while they reassure the leftwing media and the extremist gay pressure groups that they're still employed.

To hell with this groomerjuice company.

The two top Anheuser-Busch marketing executives who were placed on leave amid the company shakeup no longer work for the brand, a source inside Anheuser-Busch confirmed in texts obtained by the Daily Caller on Tuesday.

Group Vice President for Marketing Daniel Blake and Bud Light Marketing Vice President Alissa Heinerscheid are "gone gone," according to obtained text messages with a current regional head of marketing. The Caller is granting anonymity to the source to discuss legally fraught internal company policy.

"To my understanding if we publicly announced the word 'fire' it opens up the potential for them to sue us. Thats why we said leave of absence," the source said in a text message obtained by the Caller.

That's a lie. Obviously, you're allowed to fire people. You don't have to avoid the word "fire" to avoid a lawsuit. Or rather, whatever you call it, your risk of lawsuit is the same.

This is a complete cover lie.

They just don't want to upset The Rainbow Jihad, and they want to claim "Akshually, those two were fired (but not fired) ages ago, please drink our groomerjuice now."

"The wholesalers would have had an absolute HAY DAY with leadership if they didn't remove her," the source inside the company also said.

"To be fair- Daniel Blake was actually awesome. I think he was just caught in cross fire. But also he did hire her... so that's a fault," the source continued.

"Wholesalers were told they are both gone for good by leadership during in person conversations. They already shifted all their direct reports to new people and the head of marketing," the source added in another text message obtained by the Caller.

This is all designed to be leaked to the conservative press while retaining deniability for everyone who's not a conservative.

Even if this source is on the level, he's relaying what management wants him to think. And like he said: There would be hell to pay if Alissa Heinerscheid weren't removed.

So they claim: Sure, she's removed. But LEGAL COMPLICATIONS prevent us from saying she's removed.

You conservative rubes hate lawsuits, right? Well we're trying to avoid a lawsuit.

Please drink our Gay Beer again, Inbreds.

And here's the denial from management.

...

Update: 3:35pm ET: After the given deadline, Anheuser-Busch reached out with the following statement and did not address any of the questions asked by the Caller:

"Given the circumstances, Alissa has decided to take a leave of absence which we support. In the interest of our employees' safety and privacy, we're not providing any additional information. Daniel is taking a leave of absence. In the interest of our employees' safety and privacy, we're not providing any additional information," an Anheuser-Busch spokesperson said.

The Ace of Spades Decision Desk projects this all to be another corporate con.

posted by Lamont the Big Dummy at 01:15 PM

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