Quick Hits

Is Michelle Obama the actual candidate for 2024? Kurt Schlichter call this the "nightmare scenario," which of course means it'll almost certainly come true.

All the attention is on the Republican race right now, but it should be on the Democrat race following the announcement, by that desiccated pervert masquerading as our president, that he thinks (sic) that he can go another round as president. The sad fact is the only people happy about Biden's presidency are that very real doctor, Jill, and Jimmy Carter, who is serene in the knowledge that he was not the worst president of the last century thanks to Grandpa Badfinger.

...

Don't think there are not a bunch of Democrats out there with dreams of the presidency consulting the actuarial tables and poking pins into their Joe Biden voodoo doll. Kamala Harris has been measuring the drapes since day one, though she's so dumb she probably does it in the wrong room of the White House. Gavin Newsom is working to gain some recognition for something besides hobos squatting on the sidewalk, leaving the seething cesspool that is California and presuming to tell Florida how to do things right. Plus, Felonia Milhouse von Pantsuit is still kicking, and it's not like she has the attention of her husband to distract her. You know Bill Clinton would be thrilled to have her in Washington, mostly because his wife (sic) would be much less likely to walk into their Chautauqua place and catch him in the hot tub doing lines off the rear ends of a couple of topless cougars. Again.

That's a "(sic)" burn.

But there's another nightmare scenario lurking out there, one that should put a chill down the spine of every American who doesn't want to see this country collapse into utter chaos and despair. What are the chances that Michelle Obama will come out of her expensive and luxurious retirement to try to take up the banner for the Democrats in 2024?

Speaking of spine, I've got a great campaign motto for Moose:

I'M BAAAAAAAACK, BABY...!

That's really Moose's back.

She looks like she could deadlift any number of Barack's boyfriends.

I saw a guy on Twitter offer $10,000 for anyone who could provide him with a picture of Michelle Obama, when "pregnant." As far as I know, he still has that money.

Schlichter continues:

She has certainly sparked a lot of speculation, and a lot of dread, among Republicans. And the Republicans are right to dread her. The kind of Chardonnay -- swilling, overly-credentialed, and under-educated, sexually unsatisfied suburban wine women who adore Michelle Obama are going to be a key demographic in 2024, and Michelle owns them lock, stock, and Häagen-Dazs.

He ultimately decides she probably won't run because she's "lazy and frivolous" and likes spending her time floating on airbeds in the Mediterranean and talking to "interesting Italians." You know, like her husband (sic).

But still, a frightening thought.

By the way, the second half of that post is about Trump not being a very good candidate about any other Democrat except Joe Biden, so if you don't want to read that, don't.

May I suggest this one instead?

The aptly-named David French, whose latest sinecure is as the New York Times's pet pseudo-Conservative, has really come into his own as the conservative who liberals want, and who liberals need. Soft, sissified, and sanctimonious, he's pretty much John Lithgow in Footloose if the priggish preacher watched a lot of Morning Joe -- and he'd be careful to overlook the Mika homewrecking thing because he knows where his wafer is buttered. French is always there to wag a finger at the right-wingers, articulating a vision of conservatism shackled by norms and principles that prevent them from actually conserving anything. French is not merely a surrender monkey, but a surrender organ-grinder's monkey, dancing for nickels to whatever tune his master plays.

He's the perfect conservative for people who hate conservatives, always eager to please by being eager to lose. His writing sounds like what leftists sipping their kombucha and perusing the paper think is conservative, but it is nothing of the sort. There's not a leftist premise that French fails to accept, and he's embraced by the enemy only because he's non-threatening. He's a friend zone conservative, the guy the leftists come to for succor when the mean butchcons keep them from killing babies or allow people to keep scary guns (French was once with us on these and other issues, but he somehow happened by pure chance to evolve into the same positions on these matters as the people paying him -- weird coinnkydink, huh?). David is the guy the hottie cries to about the big, bad stud who's mean to her and then, after he's wiped her tears, she goes over to the big, bad stud's place while David writes a screed about what a jerk the guy the hottie actually wants is. You read his stuff and you know there's some weird stuff underneath it all. You get the vibe that the guy's browser history is something you want no part of.

Lately, French has been flacking in favor of Disney, because apparently there's a conservative principle we were unaware of where we must submit entirely to woke corporations and accept whatever poison they choose to inject into our culture. The left wants our submission, and David comes along to explain why, to attain True Conservatism™, submission is mandatory. It's kind of remarkable how he is so perfectly attuned to the desires of the leftists who read his garbage paper. David French is whatever he needs to be at any given time. When he was litigating First Amendment stuff, he was some kind of civil libertarian, then he was a conservative at National Review, then he was whatever the hell those dopes are at The Dispatch, and now he's the muddled mess pumping out nonsense at the NYT. He's a ridiculous man, but he's figured out his scam, and it works for him.

He writes about David French's defense of Disney, and his claims that Disney will probably win its suit to force Florida to re-grant it its Reedy Creek Improvement Zone rights. If you're thinking, "Wait, that doesn't sound right, a corporation can't force the government to grant it special permissions," you're right, but David French has long been a very bad lawyer.

I remember reading an argument he had with Andy McCarthy. McCarthy said that Trump couldn't be prosecuted for something or other -- maybe the meeting Trump, Jr. had with the Russian who hired FusionGPS and said she had dirt on Hillary -- because the crime has two elements, only one of which had arguably been satisfied. The other clearly had not.

In any criminal prosecution, all elements of a crime must be proven. If you're charging someone with burglary and prove they broke in (one element) but not that they had the intent to take property therein and move it to another place (they word like that so you can't say "I just wanted to borrow it, man, not steal it"), then you can't prove burglary. You can't prove most of the elements of a crime. You must prove all of the elements of a crime.

But David French insisted that Trump could be prosecuted, because, even though one element of the crime clearly was absent, Trump really satisfied the other element of the crime, and that should make up for the other element being completely missing.

If that doesn't sound right to you: Congratulations, you are a better legal analyst than David French.

I don't know how French behaves as an actual litigator, but I do know about his writings. And I say: Never, ever trust David French's claims about what the law is. He is such a passionate -- crazed, I mean -- zealot for whatever "princibuhls" he's decided to fight for this week, that he grossly lies about the law, or is so blinded by smug righteousness he can't read what the law actually says.

The law is whatever David French needs it to be for his next histrionic column.

Schlichter dispenses with him neatly. David French is trying to claim Disney has free speech rights that were violated, but Schlichter cites a longstanding principle of law: If the state has the power to do something, the courts shall not inquire into their motives for doing that thing. Even if The Devil DeSantis rilly rilly wanted to punish Disney for speaking out, no court can tell the state it is not allowed to do what it plainly has the power to do (repeal Disney's special exemption to the law) just because David French finds their motives for doing that "outrageous" or whatever.

As Schlichter notes: David French forgot to inform his New York Times audience of that longstanding precedent.

Again: Do not trust David French's word on anything, including whether he'll pay you for your stud services for tonight's session. He is either incompetent or just a liar. Again, I don't know what he says in court, but what he says outside of court is nonsense and highly-partisan lies.

Companies across America are cutting their staffs because this is the Hottest Economy In History, Jack!

A wave of layoffs that hit dozens of US companies toward the end of 2022 shows no sign of slowing down into 2023.

Morgan Stanley and Dropbox are the latest companies to announce cuts: Morgan Stanley is reportedly cutting 3,000 by the end of the quarter, while Dropbox's CEO said last week the company would cut 500 jobs. Gap, meanwhile, said it would cut 1,800 jobs as part of a restructuring plan meant to cut costs at headquarters and in upper management.

The news comes after Lyft told employees on April 21 it would eliminate 1,200 roles, or about 30% of its workforce. The cuts will apply to corporate staffers, as Lyft does not consider drivers to be official employees of the company.

These companies join a large number of major corporations that have made significant cuts in the new year: Tech companies, including Meta and Google, and finance behemoths, like Goldman Sachs, announced massive layoffs in the first weeks of 2023 amid a continued economic downturn and stagnating sales.

The downsizing followed significant reductions that companies including Meta and Twitter made last year.

The layoffs have primarily affected the tech sector, which is now hemorrhaging employees at a faster rate than at any point during the pandemic, the Journal reported. According to data cited by the Journal from Layoffs.fyi, a site tracking layoffs since the start of the pandemic, tech companies slashed more than 185,000 in 2023 alone -- compared to 80,000 in March to December 2020 and 15,000 in 2021.

But it's not just tech companies that are cutting costs, with the major job reductions that have come from the Gap, along with FedEx, Dow, and Wayfair.

You know that Vice is preparing to declare bankruptcy if it can't sell off any of its worthless components. Below, a Vice "reporter" says that Vice was just too "brash" in reporting from the front lines of world conflicts, and The Man just couldn't let them be successful.

Kyle Sheideler says "No, it wasn't that."

What you might not know is that Vice's games "journalism" unit, Waypoint, will be shut down effective June 2nd.

So I don't think that component can be sold off.

Waypoint @waypoint You might have already heard, but VICE is shutting down Waypoint. The crew will be around until June 2nd to record a few podcasts and stream a few streams and find a few five-star runtimes, but soon, the Waypoint project is over. You were the best audience we could've asked for.

Clownfish TV says that Waypoint was another woke games "jounalism" site and signed off their podcasts by saying "F*** capitalism," but without the asterisks, because no one knows how to pronounce an asterisk.

Apparently capitalism said "No, f*** you."

Palmer Luckey is some kind of tech innovator who was involved in the deveolpment of Occulus VR. He celebrates the end of Waypoint:

Palmer Luckey @PalmerLuckey

VICE is shutting down games media division, Waypoint, and laying off the entire staff.

I wish I could be magnanimous, but no, good riddance. Those assholes spread nasty lies about me for years in official and non-official capacities. "Fuck Capitalism and Go Home" has been their podcast signoff for years now, guess they finally got what they wanted.

I am sure most of them will find a home at one of the many outlets from the 0% Interest days that doesn't care about ethical journalism practices or making money, but sometimes you have to appreciate the little wins.

For the people who think this is in poor taste, sorry, no sympathy. The lies these people told are part of why I had my entire company and identity ripped away from me. They went for my scalp, kicked me while I was down, celebrated my fall and derided my return. Screw 'em.

Apparently he paid for an anti-Clinton billboard, so the games "journalists" dug into his history to destroy him, and accused him of "financing racist memes," which apparently was just a lie.

Palmer Luckey @PalmerLuckey

You have fallen for a false narrative. I paid for an anti-Clinton billboard, but all those stories about me funding racist memes were based on a completely fabricated narrative spread by a handful of journalists.

There is a reason nobody ever showed a single shred of evidence.

Someone showed "evidence" he was a racist -- which consisted of him making the "Okay" sign standing next to Steve Bannon.

That's their evidence. That's their justification for a cancellation.

Doogie2K @Doogie2K

I literally don't know who you are.

I do know who a lot of the Waypoint folks are, because they were good at their jobs and entertaining.

Palmer Luckey @PalmerLuckey

Their job was to make money. Instead, they lost money. Maybe you found them entertaining, but the people in charge weren't laid off for being good at their job.

Nice.

Speaking of failures, Jen Psaki.

Fox's weekday ratings collapse is lifting most boats -- but not Jen Psaki's on MSNBC. Her rating are low and falling every week.

Via Megyn Kelly, who Trumpishly brands Psaki a non-talent-haver.

Poynter, one of the Independent Nonpartisan evaluators of what's fake news or real news, calls this a "strong start" and loves -- just loves -- her partisan trashing of Tucker Carlson.

Psaki said, "Throughout it all, Fox backed Tucker. When asked in 2021 to comment on Carlson's long record of lies and bigotry -- and you just heard a lot of them there -- Fox News plainly said, 'We fully support him.' And for years they did. But if you think Tucker's firing means Fox has seen the light? Don't hold your breath. Don't judge them on why they fired Carlson. Judge them for all the times they didn't and judge them for what they're still putting on the air this week. Since his exit on Monday, it's been business as usual for their prime-time lineup."

Wow, that is indeed Stronk, Poynter. Thank you for bringing this Stronkness to my attention.

NYC mayor Eric Adams says that Texas Governor Abbott is trying to hurt "black-run cities" by busing illegal aliens there.

Wait, I thought that illegal aliens were culturally enriching and the very backbone of the American economy.

But you say their presence "hurts" "black-run cities."

Have I been had?

Have I been run amok?

Have I been led astray? Bamboozled?

"This weekend, we learned that Governor Abbott is once again deciding to play politics with people's lives by resuming the busing of asylum seekers to New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Denver, and Washington, D.C.," the black Democratic mayor wrote in a press release.

"Not only is this behavior morally bankrupt and devoid of any concern for the well-being of asylum seekers, but it is also impossible to ignore the fact that Abbott is now targeting five cities run by Black mayors.

"Put plainly, Abbott is using this crisis to hurt Black-run cities."

Abbott's office denied that it ever stopped sending migrants to the Big Apple or that it has bused any to Los Angeles or Denver.

Abbott, who is white, has said the buses are to protest what he calls the Biden administration's dangerously lax immigration policies and the targeted municipalities' decision to become "Sanctuary Cities," which don't report illegal immigrants to deportation officials.

Finally, via Tree Hugging Sister at Hot Air, Biden has appointed Noted Tech Genius Kamala Harris to be the Administration's Point Woman on... Artificial Intelligence.

I mean, duh, obviously. Who knows more about intelligence, organic or artificial, than Kamala Harris? And who knows more about parsing the English language for the meaning encoded in its words than the woman who told us that "Tomorrow will be today, tomorrow"?

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Update: Chuck Grassley calls the information about the Joe Biden bribery scheme "highly credible."

posted by Ace at 06:10 PM

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