Sponsored Content

Intermarkets' Privacy Policy

Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!

Recent Entries
Absent Friends
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

ę MSNBC Wants You to Know, Again, That Getting In Shape Is White Supremacist Terrorism
The Navy Erase Physical Fitness Failures From Sailor Records
| Main | If Memes Be The Price Of ONT, Lord God We Ha' Paid In Full! Ľ
February 24, 2023

Beat the Iron Flower Cafe

They look like the tech guys running
The Carousel in Logan's Run,
but they're actually "beating the iron flower."
Explained later -- beneath the fold! --
to add some drama and suspense to tonight's Cafe.

Towering sandstorm.

Odd to have this as among the landmarks on your daily commute.

Looks cool but notice where they choose to cut.

I hope everyone has a lot of this activity planned for their weekend.

Dressing up your dog? Gay. Unless it's for stealth purposes, as part of the ancient art of ninjitsu. Obviously.

Rabbit eating lettuce. GAYYY!!!

LOL is this pigeon gay or what?

Riding double with a dude is, how you say?, gayballs.

This rabbit decided today was a good day to eat raspberries and come out to its dad.

You're not in the water, and this is gay.

This dog really "likes music." One of that kind, if you know what I mean.

Don't be hornswoggled by the beard in the bikini. This guy is as gay as the day is long.

Do I even have to say it?

*cough* GAY DUCK *cough*

As a general matter, birds are pretty gay.

This "art" is pretty "artistic" if you know what I mean. And I mean: Gay.

Undersea volcano erupting. Not gonna lie, it's pretty gay. It's gonna be an influencer with its own makeup line in a month, mark my words.

Okay enough of that. It's gotten silly.

This took me a second to get:


I believe that that image was usually preceded by this musical fanfare.

Not even once, mate:

Below, "iron flower fireworks:"

This is a practice in China. It's what you've guessed it is: A man draws out a blob of molten metal from a furnace, and the other man bats it and sends a thousand tiny blobs of molten metal flying.

he ancient art of Datiehua, or "Beat the iron flowers," is traditionally performed to celebrate the Spring Festival.

I usually beat the iron flower before I go to bed.

Such performances reached their peak in popularity during the Ming (1368-1644) and Qing (1644-1911) dynasties as a way for local blacksmiths to show off the strength of their iron works.

Samesies! That's why I do it, too.

Traditionally, the performances are held to usher in blessings for everything from good harvests to thriving business. The latter association comes from the Chinese word for flower, hua, which rhymes with fa, or "fortune."

All I know is that when I beat the iron flower, I fall asleep like a baby.

More video of men beating their iron flowers here.

Not to ask the obvious question, but: These yellow-hot bits of molten iron don't burn the spectators' faces off their faces? Do they cool that rapidly? If so, why are the guys batting the molten metal around wearing protective hoods and gloves?

I feel as though if I were watching as many Jackie Chan movies as I know I should, I would already know all about this. At least six Jackie Chan movies must have had climaxes where the big fight happened at an iron flower fireworks show.

So gay:

You, Madame, have been duly served.

digg this
posted by Ace at 07:39 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Blanco Basura - Z28.310 [/i] [/b] [/u] [/s]: "Hunter's testimony was foretold long ago: https ..."

rickb223 [/s][/b][/i][/u]: " "U.S. Steel idles steelmaking at Granite City pla ..."

rhennigantx: "Oryx. Those ungulents are the canookian goose of b ..."

BurtTC: "Bill down south again to do some funeral crashing? ..."

gourmand du jour: "Layoffs during the holidays are tough. I've had my ..."

Cannibal Bob : "Kill it and grill it. Posted by: nurse ratched ..."

Carl Spackler: "Would you rather have the workers rack up the cc d ..."

I am the Shadout Mapes, Chief Housekeeping Vibe Officer: "The National Christmas Tree had information relati ..."

Drive by: " The challenging mission involved extracting them ..."

BurtTC: "Would you rather have the workers rack up the cc d ..."

The Perlman kind: "Posers. Posted by: Rheas Absofuckinglutely! ..."

Montec: "BREAKING: HotGas has linked to Ace's Koch backs Ha ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64