Sponsored Content




Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!



Recent Entries
Absent Friends
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups





















Saturday Evening Movie Thread - 2/18/2023 [TheJamesMadison] | Main | Daily Tech News 19 February 2023
February 18, 2023

Saturday Overnight Open Thread (2/18/23)

2 18 23 0NT.jpg


***

The Saturday Night Joke

Advantage of being old.............................................


I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business.
This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches... but,
When you're seventy-six............... who cares?



I went to the drugstore and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
I said, "Nah... She's purty good lookin'...."
When you're seventy-six............who cares?



I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
Cost me a fat lip, but...
When you're seventy-six..............who cares?



I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
"Really" she said, "Go on then... Try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but...
When you're seventy-six..............who cares?

I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you're seventy-six..............who cares?


I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Cost me 6 more stitches, but...
When you're seventy-six............who cares?


"Count your life by smiles, not tears, count your age by friends, not years, and remember
We do not quit playing because we grow old... We grow old because we quit playing"
(H/T Hrothgar)


***


Didn't get enough movie talk, chat & critique? The ONT is a giver.


***

Yes, yes. Saturday ONTs are supposed to be fun. How about some science that could where you avoid death and/or injury.


***


We've said no math. Moar science. The ONT never said anything about the lack of amazing science facts.

***


Mid-Day Art Thread meets Saturday ONT. Are there any snipers here?

***


So easy, a monkey could do it. But not to me.

Venezuelan Man Becomes First Person To Be Tattooed by a Monkey

A Venezuelan artist and social media influencer recently generated controversy online by letting himself be permanently tattooed by a small monkey.

Funky Matas is no stranger to tattoos. In fact, he holds a Guinness Record for the most signatures tattooed on his back, over 220 of them, but his latest stunt can be described as unusual, even for him. News outlets across South America have been reporting that the Venezuelan-born influencer trained a small monkey to handle a tattoo gun and then let himself be tattooed by the animal in what is considered a first-of-its-kind experiment.

***

Say what you want about Lutheran Pot Luck dinners. We aren't pushing projectile vomitting.

Psychedelic churches in US pushing boundaries of religion
“In every major city in the United States, every weekend, there’s multiple ayahuasca ceremonies,” said a lawyer who specializes in psychedelic law.

HILDALE, Utah (AP) — The tea tasted bitter and earthy, but Lorenzo Gonzales drank it anyway. On that night in remote Utah, he was hoping for a life-changing experience, which is how he found himself inside a tent with two dozen others waiting for the psychedelic brew known as ayahuasca to kick in.

Soon, the gentle sounds of a guitar were drowned out by people vomiting — a common downside of the drug.


***


If this author really cared she would have told us how to remove the odor of cat urine.

The Five Smells Americans Hate Most (and How to Get Rid of Them)
There are a lot of people getting skunked out there.

***


Say it with me, The ONT Is Always Looking Out For YouTM

5 Disgusting Secrets of Fast Food Restaurants

Over the years I have run into some traumatic moments when it comes from fast food. In High School, I remember bringing home pizza from the local pizza place and I was eating my slice and suddenly realized I had eaten half a caterpillar. Their excuse? We use only the freshest ingredients so that is bound to happen. I have had my share of having a rock in my McDonalds St. Patrick’s Day shake and my son finding a strange bone in the McDonalds breakfast burrito. My son is a magnet for awful unidentified objects in his food there— but with the billions of pounds and gallon of food being sold a year, some of that is bound to happen.
This list isn’t about some occasional freak accidents with your food. This is a list of consistent things that happen during the process that may leave your food tainted or disgusting. Check out the list below and let me know if I left something off?

***

The ONT Musical Interlude & Ice Creepers Emporium



Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, it is a Rolling Stone link. Great musicians, horrible albums.
“THERE IS NO great genius without a touch of madness.” Greek philosopher Aristotle made this observation roughly 2,300 years ago, long before legit geniuses like Bob Dylan, John Lennon, Carole King, Elton John, Madonna, and Prince proved him right. Among the many celebrated masterpieces these artists have given the world, they have also turned in works so monumentally putrid that nothing short of “a touch of madness” can explain their existence.

Some of these albums were the products of way too much cocaine. (Elton, we’re looking at you.) Some of them came from label pressure to move beyond a cult following by creating commercial music. (Hello, Liz Phair.) Some of them were crafted before a band found its true sound (Pantera, take a bow), while others came long after key members parted and the band had no earthly reason to still exist. (Cough-Genesis-cough).

A huge percent of them were sad victims of horrid Eighties production choices, most notably the dismal period from 1985 to 1988, when cheeseball synths and shotgun-blast snare drums created a sound that has aged worse than a tuna fish and sardine sandwich left in the sun

&&&



Born on this day: February 18, 1933 - Yoko Ono
Yoko Ono, Japanese artist, singer, poet, author and peace activist and wife of John Lennon. Ono moved to New York City from Tokyo aged 14 and first met John Lennon in London in 1966, the couple married in 1969. via thisdayinmusic.com


***


They aren't toaster fvckers yet. Genius Award Winners.

A mix of limited cash and a new found freedom can lead to an array of interesting, and often rather burnt, meals.

This was certainly the case at the Avery Hill Road accommodation block in Avery Hill, London yesterday.

A group of students had turned a toaster on its side in an attempt to make a cheese toastie.


***

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by a Deluxe Birthday.

2 18 23 br0ught.jpg


Notice: Somewhere, someone, said, "Yeah, go and ahead and post The ONT.

digg this
posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 09:38 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
nurse ratched : "Heh. The seahacks showed up to play. ..."

LenNeal is just aksin: "Toyota has been putting a gutless 4banger in their ..."

Don Black (was DB): "SEA 21, DAL 20 H ..."

N: " Don't worry, so am I. Posted by: Jor try t ..."

Romeo13: "Hmmm... so Federal Judge kills a States ban on Chi ..."

Robert: "That is... unfortunate. Posted by: LenNeal at N ..."

Mike Hammer, etc, etc.: " I'm still unclear why two men with little chance ..."

exdem13: "224 Miller did work with mythologists and his work ..."

Jordan61: "I'm still unclear why two men with little chance o ..."

LenNeal: " I have Slap Shot but I feel it was terribly overr ..."

Martini Farmer: "I'm still unclear why two men with little chance o ..."

LenNeal: "They made a turbo-Diesel 4Runner for the world mar ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64