Sponsored Content
« Saturday Evening Movie Thread [moviegique]: Living | Main | Daily Tech News 1 January 2023 »
December 31, 2022

Saturday Overnight Open Thread (12/31/22) New Year's Eve Edition

Screenshot 2022-12-31 at 5.04.05 PM(1).jpg

***

The Saturday Night Joke


A Short Story


Students in a Hebrew University writing class were told they had to write a short story. It had to be in as few words as possible.
The instructions were: “Your short story has to contain three elements.
(1) Religion
(2) Sexuality
(3) Mystery”
Below is the only A+ short story that was awarded in the entire class.
“Good G-d, I’m pregnant; I wonder who did it?” (H/T Ron)


***


This looks like the perfect gift for the man in your life..........


***


Once again, I've let someone down without even knowing it.

All the Ways You're Annoying Your Server Without Knowing It
If you're "helpfully" stacking dirty plates, you are actually making their job harder.

Food service is physically demanding, requiring a person to be on their feet for long periods of time, carrying carefully-balanced and heavy trays of food. It’s psychologically demanding, because they have to deal with a wide range of, uh, personalities. So when you go out to eat, restaurant servers deserve your empathy, especially when you consider that they’re working to make your dining experience pleasant and enjoyable. Most of us know that—and that making your server’s life easier will, in turn, improve your experience—so we try to show our appreciation. But how can you do that (beyond leaving a fat tip, that is)?

***


New Years and drinking go hand in hand. To those who imbibe too much let us know if this article is truthful.

WIRED Tested Miracle Hangover Cures. You're Welcome
Do “anti-hangover” supplements really work? With the sterling help of a UK rugby team, we raised a glass or five to find out.

***

Florida has its share of "interesting people". 2022 Florida Man Awards.

Annual 'Florida Man' (and women) Awards 2022: The whackiest crimes to come out of the Sunshine State include a woman doing an Irish folk dance to get out of DUI - and a man who threw a hot dog at cop
The term 'Florida man' has become synonymous with the outrageous crimes committed by residents in the sunshine state
This year, a handful of women can be counted among the whackiest - including one who performed an Irish Folk dance to get out of a DUI arrest
In another incident, a street vendor threw a hot dog at a cop over a permit issue
Dailymail.com compiled a list of the most bizarre crimes in 2022

***

The ONT Musical Interlude & Farewell Emporium


Another December comes to an end. Goodbye Zappa Month.....................

ZappaMonth.jpg


You're welcome Mr. President...........

&&&



&&&

***


Every road trip needs good tunes and a Genius Award Winner.

A 19-year-old motorist who admitted driving his Honda 120 mph on an Iowa interstate told cops that he floored the vehicle last night “because a good song came on his stereo,” according to a court complaint.

After a witness called 911 to report a reckless driver was speeding and “swerving all over the road” a sheriff’s deputy spotted the suspect vehicle as it flew past him at 100 mph around 9:15 PM.

When the car was subsequently pulled over more than two miles up Interstate 380, driver Nicholas Bernard reportedly “admitted to going 120 mph at one point.” Bernard, seen at right, explained that he reached the top speed “because a good song came on” the stereo in his 2006 Honda Accord EX.

Bernard was only facing a speeding citation when he opened the glovebox to retrieve registration and insurance records. But then a deputy spotted a “large amount of marijuana” in plain view in the compartment. A subsequent search of the vehicle turned up a smoking pipe and other drug paraphernalia, cops report.

***


Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Stamina.

12 31 brought.jpg


Notice: Posted without permission. No one is in the building here at the Ace Media Empire and AceCorp, LLC tree-fort. Resolutions? Nah, The ONT is too old for that shit. Happy New Year.

digg this
posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 09:54 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Thomas Paine: ""Jean-Pierre said, "What I will say to Republicans ..."

fd: "Some fukwit at the IRS probably took it upon thems ..."

Christopher R Taylor [/i][/i][/s][/s][/b][/b][/u][/u]: "[i]This busty blonde in a bikini top and short sho ..."

[/i][/s][/b][/u]Retired Buckeye Cop is now an engineer : "[i]Watching that video from Officer Collazo the gu ..."

REDACTED: "CBS is reporting that the delay in identifying the ..."

[/i][/b][/s][/u]I used to have a different nic: "[i]GeorgeTakei In case it’s not yet clear, ..."

Thomas Bender: "@334 >> How old is George Takei? Pretty ol ..."

Minnfidel: "How old is George Takei? Based on how he looks, ..."

Christopher R Taylor [/i][/i][/s][/s][/b][/b][/u][/u]: "I love the bit going around now about how the IRS ..."

Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden: "[i]How many of us have had an actual agent show up ..."

Marcus T: ""Sweden makes their own. For all its faults I do l ..."

Thesokorus: "I think the shooter has to be viewed as a victim o ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64